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I feel depressed and don't know why

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Question - (22 June 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom, *ackie69 writes:

Hi,

I am a 21 year old female.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 15 months now .our relationship has recently become serious. We have slept together, he said he loved me 4 months into the relationship and says he wants to marry me someday. He is the most lovely guy in the world and I do believe i do realy love him.

The thing is recently I have become rather depressed and cry almost every day for no apparent reason.

I am under consultation with a doctor at present and breakdown crying when i even go to see her.

I dont know what is making me this way.

I dont think i can believe somebody loves me as i was treated badly in school and excluded by the other pupils.

there is also this other guy i have been friends with 4 years and he has brought a new g/f home. this upset me. but i dont believe i like him. just is something to do with me being down i think.

I just want your opinion on what could be the cause of this please?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

Im glad your feeling better hunny, life takes a bad turn but always remember we are learning all the time and this is a good thing put your past behind and look forward to a brighter future much luck LOVE N HUGS MANDYS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, jackie69 United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2008):

jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jackie69 agony auntIn october I split with my boyfriend and got together soon after with an absolutely lovely guy who loves me for who and what I am. I feel realy happy and totally in love,

i think i was just unhappy with the guy i was with.

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

hi there,

im 21 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, when we got together i was happy but the last couple of months i cant seem to stop myeslf from getting upset and its over the most ridiculous things.

im too afraid to seek help at the doctors, i think that they wont take me seriously.

i really want to do something about this as it is causing problems between me and my partner and im afraid im going to lose him

please help

thank you

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007):

Watching porn shouldn't immediately equate him as being unfaithful, men often do it especially this industry has become so developed over the years. What does acting like a single man mean, though?? We may take into account also the fact that some people, in the internet for example, don't take things seriously, he may write "for fun" there and not truly mean it!! Then there is this other possibility that it's in real life he is not serious. For how long have you known him and how much do you trust him? Stay in guard but don't take it as incriminatory either. Jackie. At the end of the day, as goes the quote, "unhappiness belongs in fact to those who act unjustly, not to those who suffer it." If he isn't true, he doesn't deserve you, ok? Don't question him yet, watch him and his proves of care for a while. Wrote you a pm.

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A female reader, jackie69 United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2007):

jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jackie69 agony auntI am still feeling mega depressed!

I have just found a profile on the internet of my b/f's where he watches live porn shows and is frinds with all of the women in them and is acting like he's single!

I cant believe he has done that!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007):

Jackie, at least there a small alliance, you were not alone. The situation may have had an impact on your self-esteem, which now makes you feel unattractive. Of course there are beautiful persons, but don't compare only to them, that's pretty high standards. Look around and you'll see people that are loved and "shine" and it's not due to their looks. I'd say it's about their attitudes. If you feel attractive, you already are half that. If you act attractive, "handsome is what handsome does." About the high school problem, I just remembered about Toma Aquino's case when his classmates poked fun at him, but in the end HE became appreciated. It often happens that people who are "different" don't find it so easy to cope with the others, but if they believe in their chances, they may discover the life they wanted awaits just round the corner.

There's no reason to feel insecure now, you have a loving boyfriend, and if you don't have experience in a relationship it shouldn't be a matter of concern as long as you're willing to experience now, prejudices and fear apart. Believe in your sun. It shines now...

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A female reader, jackie69 United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2007):

jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jackie69 agony auntMore info: In school had 3 friends in which became closed off into a group in which our whole school year completely excluded and made us feel little and like muck on their shoes. Boys would ignore and/or tease us constantly. and i have never had a boyfriend up until now.

I have also jus finished a 3 yr degree and i believe am also worrying about my results.

My b/f loving me and wanting such a future with me could also be frightening me slightly, as I haven't seen or tried a lot of things. but cant realy imagine my day without him.

I just feel totally stupid and unattractive, and this is what makes me cry. Really dont know why.

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A female reader, Ask_HanBan United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2007):

Ask_HanBan agony auntdepression can strike at any time, it doesnt matter what season it just stikes.

go see a councellor and talk through your issues, you'll feel better

gd luk

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

"He is the most lovely guy in the world" and you love him. These are your words. You're describing a beautiful situation and yet you feel depressed. Could it be that you have a feeling you don't deserve him, or this unexpected (?) happiness? You say you haven't had an easy life in school, with seems to confirm my theory. Some people are excluded sometimes, especially when young and don't learn to interact with the environment and adopt some of its features so as to appear to be integrated. When this happens, it's not necessarily the fault of the person having been treated differently, it may be that the others haven't had the courage to approach and try to understand. Tell us more about this. The first step in dealing with depression is learning how it is and what caused it and we seem to have the "why."

You should trust people more - don't let this fragment of the past cast a shadow upon your present. You may have felt unsupported and misunderstood at some point, but we all have the chance to love and be loved in return, and your chance has come and is palpable.

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A female reader, rachal  United States +, writes (22 June 2007):

rachal  agony auntdo you know if you could be pregenant? it's something to consider. i hope that you figure out what the problem is.

GOOG LUCK!

xoxo rachal

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A female reader, i need help fast United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2007):

Its obvious that you feel like you dont believe someone likes you! but if you have already slept with you and hes saying these things he must really mean it. youve been through a ruff time. im going through the same thing at the moment. some girls in m class are basically bullying me but i dont think they no it. you hould carry on with the consultation and over time im sure youll get through these. just think, when ur happily married with kids and the people who excluded u r alone, youll no that u r soooooooooooo much better and more deserving than any of them!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007):

Hi my love,

I get like this for no apparent reason, it pops up when i least expect it and ive just come out of a bad one, It has i no something to do with my passed, violent relationships... and now having a loving partner my head does get a little fuzzy shall we say at times and very confused to say the least, your friend coming back with a girlfriend, I dont think hunny its because you like him in that way maybe its because you just were'nt expecting him to have this new girl, you havent had feelings before? You dont mention it, his new girl is someone new for you to meet one day and that could be worrying because of the way you are feeling you just feel very alone right now and to meet someone new is all just to much at the moment. your partner sounds lovely i can understand how you feel its hard to explain, it is as if you dont understand why someone loves you and you are constantly asking yourself what is there about me to love, Hunny i no its hard you can have so many people around and yet still feel alone in your head and so unhappy and not knowing why is just adding to the depression, I always take time out and think that it will pass i do something to say make someone else happy and then slowly the depression lifts like a foggy day when the sun comes out, dont be scared to let your partner in he could be the very person to help you with this.

darling the fog will lift and the sun will come out just believe in you and believe you are worth loving as that is very true about everyone, I do hope you feel better soon TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2007):

kellyO agony aunti Jackie69,

I think u are going thru a phase right now and would encourage u to keep up with the consultation. Think about the positive things u have in this life and picture alot who cant dont have any.Take a holiday with ur bf to somewhere different. Depending on your cashflow u could try numerous places. Have u been to Africa? Sometimes it is good to take a trip to other parts of the world it helps redirect one perspective about life or how one can help others.

Goodluk

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