A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For the past two years, I have fell head over heels for a man that just seems to not have the same emotional function as i do. Lately I have felt the pain and agony, of what it is really like, to have someone who you really care about just shove everything in your face. What do I do when I call him and I say that I love him, and when he says it back, it doesnt feel like the way that I said it to him? We also just recently moved apart from each other, and he grows with anger sometimes he just won't answer my calls. When I ask him to come and see me he says "I just dont have the money." But when we got together a while back he would do anything to come and see me.About 2 months ago I caught him talking to some girl in ways that he shouldnt have been, and so I asked him. He lied of course, so I wanted him to show me what was wrote, instead he wanted to look at the people I have been talking to. He saw another guy talking to me asking me to go on dates with him. Even when I didnt write back, I still got blamed for it, like what I did was wrong. I feel bullied, and even though he is acting this way I cant help but feel depressed and run right back into it. I don't want to have to feel so emotionally attached, I just want it to end. I want to feel okay with my emotions again, and I dont want to keep running back. What do I do? Tell him to get consuling that will never work? I want us to work but I feel like im always doing the same thing over and over again. Will he change? Can I change him? How do I leave without all of the extra baggage? HELP PLEASE!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): It is very very easy to get involved with a guy who starts controlling your feelings and bullying you emotionally. Before you know it you have forgotten who you are. The unfortunate thing is that unless you either get things changed or get out of the relationship the 'control' he has over you will get more and more intense. I have experienced this myself and it was only when I began to feel physically quite poorly from it that I took a step back and saw the pattern of behaviour. You are not married or have children together. You are obviously a very sensible and level person who knows right from wrong. Protect all these really positive things from becoming diluted or, worse, non-existent through a gradual decline in your emotional state. You don't need him as much as you think you do - I think when you are free from these feelings you will get your old self back. Being with someone is about growing as a person not shrinking. All the best.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 well i think that you are very young - too young to be going through something as heavy as this. as far as i can see you are not being treated right, and he is taking advantage of the fact that you love him and take his bullying. the only way to get your life back to the way you want is to let him go - i know its not the answer you are looking for, but if you go on with him, your feelings will only grow stronger and you will end up getting hurt more than you should. you have moved away from him, move on from him too and start meeting ppl that appreciate you and will respect you for who you are and your feelings. good luck, please leave him soon so you dont hurt anymore
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A
female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman +, writes (29 January 2008):
 You are quite young, and I think that you need to find someone else that will treat you with respect and love. I know it hurts, for I was in the same boat as you. I cried and cried and prayed to God for that relationship to work out. My friends told me that there is other men out there that is lots better. At the time, I didn't want anyone else. When I left, it was then I found out that my friends were right. I found a man who is everything to me. He treats me with love and respect, and I couldn't be any happier! Now I am married to this man and now there is a smile on my face and in my heart! He was the answer to my prayers!! You need to start thinking of yourself and get your self-esteem back. You are quite young and you shouldn't jump into relationships at this time because you have your life ahead of you. You need to get your life in order first and get your priorities straight. Before you know it, you will find Mr Right, and your life will be better!!God Bless!!!
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