A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My former fiance and I have not spoken in 3 months. We were together for 3 years. I am so confused and sad about how he dropped me for someone new as if our relationship never happened. I have only called twice and texted once. He does not answer. The first year was magical. But it seemed his friends were never happy for him. They would make ridiculous comments on facebook and not acknowledge me. My friends embraced him. I accepted many faults and transgressions. For example, he said he was a born again Christian but had gone to get Happy Endings with his so called best friend who also claimed to be born again. He would not have sex with me for the first year because it was premarital sex. I forgave him when he said he masturbates to models. Mind you, we hadn't had sex and I think I'm pretty attractive. When I started to ask for space to work on myself and ensure I really wanted to share my life with him, he told me off. He swore he would never speak to me again because I was becoming too "worldly" and he wanted a Christian wife. Btw, I was raised in the faith. I didn't need to be born again to conquer a gambling and porn addiction like him. I'm so very angry and disappointed. Please any comments would be helpful. I feel betrayed.
View related questions:
best friend, christian, facebook, fiance, gambling, porn, text Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (21 August 2011):
It sounds like you are still angry and bitter over your break-up, which is entirely natural given your circumstances.
Born-again Christians aren't perfect -- as they like to say -- they are just forgiven. While the happy endings thing is a bit eyebrow raising, it definitely sounds like your ex liked to talk to the talk, but failed to walk the walk.
It sounds like you still hold resentment over him for some of his transgressions. The best way to get over this is to tell yourself to "stop!" when you start on the old thinking pattern. At this point, it doesn't change anything to keep wondering what you did wrong or how he sold you a line. The past is in the past and from what you've described, it sounds like you are better off without him. Sadly, it also sounds like he has moved on and doesn't wish to have any other contact with you.
Your best bet as this point, is to think positive. You escaped from what would've been a dubious relationship and there's bound to be another guy out there who shares your commitment and integrity values that is waiting for you to find. So keep the faith and know that God has something in the works for you -- your ex definitely wasn't in the plans.
Good luck!
|