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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm really upset about the fact that I can't seem to be able to put my gf's past behind me. I love her dearly, I trust her 100% not to cheat on me, but lotsa times I find myself thinking about her and the guys in her past (she is also older than me 6 yrs), checking her old emails sent and received from some guy, etc. I know It is the past and she didnt know me then but I can't help feeling betrayed and miserable...I'm not saying to much of this to her coz i'm kno it would hurt her a lot. Is there no way to shake this off ?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Is it possible she hid it because in some way shes ashamed of it and is scared if she reveals it then it will damage the relationship and hurt you? I think the only way to get rid of these feelings is to let them out in some way, short of hypnotherepy that is. Did she have an extraordianry amount of exs and is this making you feel inadaquote?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer your questions, yes in a way she did kinda hide it and she doesn't want to talk about it at all which makes it more difficult 4 me. I know I won't leave her because of these things, I just want to know how to make it more bearable and ,why not, eventually just get rid of these thoughts. It just drives me insane....I've even thought about hipnosis, heard it might work.....
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (11 December 2006):
I'd recommend finding, watching and absorbing a film called Chasing Amy. Seriously, I think you have done right in not talking to her about how you feel at the moment but there maybe a stage where it is appropiate and necessary.
You need to work through this on your own at first and get to the route of how you are feeling. Are you feeling this way because she hid these things?? Because she shared these experiences with these guys and not you and this makes you feel less special? Is it because she has fallen off a pedestal on which you put her, that she is now special and a little more human? Lock yourself and write out how you are feeling, it doesnt have to be perfect prose, read back what you wrote and burn it then go and see your gf and see if it makes any difference.
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