A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for 4 years, we were so in love but in the end grew apart. It didn't end well and we no longer talk to each other. It has been 15 months since the break up and we both seem to have moved on with our lives, he is seeing someone else and has been for a while, while I have been dating and enjoying the single life for a bit. We share a few mutual friends but one of these has hinted that we should talk and get in touch just to be civil and so we can maybe catch up as a group, this hasn't happened yet but I think we are both moved on. One mutual friend we shared kept in touch with me after the break up some did not. This one was his old friend who he's known since primary school we are now 26!! We had always got on so I thought nothing of it. A few months ago we started to hang out as friends laughing at each others bad dates etc. A month ago he said he likes me and has done for some time, I said I liked him too bit did not wish to pursue this as it would be too strange as me and my ex don't talk and they are best friends. He seemed cool with it but we flirted much more and ended up sleeping together. I want him to tell my ex as I think he should know but he doesn't want to yet, he wants to see if we get more serious first as he doesn't want to rock the boat with his mate until we get to spend more time together and are sure of what we want...... I'm very confused now as I feel sleeping with him and going on dates was a big deal and I don't want to go "sneaking around".I feel bad enough for seeing an ex's friend as it is something I would never even do so now feel a bit guilty... when I am with him he calms me down assuring me it's fine and I feel ok.... I'm just a bit worried if this guy is as serious as he says he is about me or if I'm over analysing and worrying too much... I know that many of our friends won't approve but more worried of meeting my ex for the first time in over a year saying I'm sleeping with his best mate.View related questions: best friend, flirt, my ex12345 -- Rate
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): I see. Well,..I still don't see ex's problem, but, if it was alright for his friend, it should be alright with you...Oh, well, I am well past that age, etc. I just think it is stupid and interfering for your ex bf to try and determine who you should see and who you shouldn't. If it is going to cause such a fuss, you may be better off to just forget all of them and move on. They seem like a little boy's social club of some kind. It takes some guys/mates/blokes a long time to grow up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was ok at first but when my now bf went told the ex we liked each other he hit the roof he insists he is over me but I cant see why he is acting this way he has told his friend not to date me...this is why i feel bad as i dont want to make trouble and ruin their friendship my bf just thinks he is a bit shocked and will get used to it. but im not so sure
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): If your relationship with "ex" is truly over, why should you feel badly? You knew this new guy for a long time, yourself. Just because he was/is a friend of ex should not be a hindrance to you or him. And why should ex be upset with it? Even if he was, he would have no right to be..and even so,...so what?
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