A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 30 years old and for the last two years I have been feeling extremely broody. I have two younger sisters who have three children between them, I adore my nieces and nephew and spend all my spare time with them but I feel so empty sometimes when I realise I might never have my own children.I am single and have been for a number of years, I am happy and independent but for the last 18 months I have been broody and every time I see a child I wish I had my own child. I have PolyCystic Ovarian Syndronme(PCOS) which doesn't help me in any way what so ever. PCOS can affect fertility. I feel right now that I will never have children. I do not sleep around and would never have a one night stand to try and get pregnant but I feel like I have no options and I am worried about talking to anyone about it. I have recently been looking at sperm donor clinics, there are a few conditions and I meet most but I am a little overweight, due to the PCOS I have been finding it difficult to lose the extra weight although I will continue to work hard. I do not want to rush things without thinking them through as I do not just have myself to think about in this kind of situation. I know this isn't just a phase but I feel so lost. Has anyone else been through similar? What should I do about it?
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female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 My sister-in-law suffers from PCOS, and like you wanted a baby and felt lost. I myself have had a number of miscarriages and was told that I may never be able to carry a child to full term, or even make it past the first trimester. I know how heartbreaking it is to hear that, and it does make you feel lost. My sister-in-law was a mess and tried everything possible to fall pregnant, unsuccessfully. She was obsessing about it (which is completely understandable). We had many long conversations about not being able to have children, and my advice to her was that although it is hard, she had to find her own way to come to terms with the fact that it may not happen. Finally she did accept that it may or may not happen, and stopped obsessing and stressing over it. Once she did that, literally in a matter of months she was pregnant, and has a beautiful son who is an absolute joy. The PCOS made it hard for her to fall pregnant, but the stress she was going through was what was keeping her from falling pregnant. My advice is before going to actually do the sperm donation treatment, try to find a way to stop stressing about it and that will increase your chances of falling pregnant. I know it's not easy to stop stressing over something that is so heartbreaking, I have been there myself and it is extremely difficult, but I am sure you can do it, and give yourself every chance to make that dream come true. I have known a number of people in my family who have had trouble falling pregnant when they wanted to, and once the stress and pressure was removed, they fell pregnant quickly. I hope this helps in some way. My greatest wish for you is to have your dream come true to become a mother.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 Well what you're going through seems to be very devastating to you- and you have every right to feel the way you feel. I know your condition can affect your ability to conceive, but there are numerous articles/websites on the net for people who suffer from your condition on how they could increase their chances of getting pregnant. Just do a Google search.
You have quite a few alternative options. But you may also want to look into adopting. Even though biologically the child may not be yours, he or she will be raised by you with the same love and care that you would give to your own. Your adopted child will look at you as their mother- and not only call you that, but feel love for you as if you actually gave birth to him/her.
I wish you the very best! :^)
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