A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2. Throughout our relationship we have had our share of ups and downs. When we first got together we were both in our teens (18-19) the sex was amazing, but after kids and doing a little growing up and maturing, I no longer am as interested in sex as he is, to him sex is a life-death situation and wants to get it 4-5 times a week, me, I'm happy enough with just once or twice a month, and recently I have started fantasizing about older men in my life, my boss (62) a long time friend and ex co-worker (38) and I am just so confused and really need advice.
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co-worker, my boss, older men, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (25 March 2011):
cupidus, no one should ever have to feel like its part of there job to have sex and defiantly don't do it if you truly don't want to give yourself to him.You two need to go deeper within you relationship and from what I read I believe you not really being appreciated like you should be. Can you as his wife tell him anything without being ashamed like this:started fantasizing about older men in my life, my boss (62) a long time friend and ex co-worker (38)if not then you need to become more intimate in your relationship with him. You two have room to grow and you should grow together. Everyone has fantasy and dreams that they can't share because others would react indifferent. My girl can say anything to me and she knows it because I dig in her mind. I want to know that way I can plan accordingly. I tolerate no cheating at all. I wouldn't be harsh if she told me that because it all fantasy and I would be there to support her not criticizes.As a man we chase a woman to get her and when were to her then we chase her a few more time to keep the flame going. I think you to are becoming a boring old couple that can't talk. Nothing wrong in hiring a babysitter and and going out to enjoy each other like when you were single.You two need to talk before the day come that talking means nothing anymore.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 4-5 vs twice a month. Someone should start a conversation on compromise. How about twice a week for a while.And if you're not into sex why are you fantasizing about other men? You know you could always dress your hubby up like an older man, I'm sure if it secures his sex drive he'll be up for it. Heck, might add some spice !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Hiya, well i think the most important thing to consider is the fact that you now have kids in this relationship which means you need to make every effort to make it work. It's normal that especially after children sex becomes a little less exciting but maybe just have a chat to your man about that and just ask if you can reach a compromise possibly?! Or maybe try new positions, techniques to make it more exciting for you? As for the older men issue, you really need to end this. If you feel it's a bit enough issue maybe talk to your man about it and just be honest with him and both of you work together to try and figure out why this is. It's not unusual to be attracted to other men but the best way to stop this is to just remember how amazing your man is and what made you love him in the first place! Those older men may seem perfect in fantasy but that doesn't mean that's who they are in reality. You have a lovely young family to enjoy, make the most of it! And a relationship is all about working through issues together. You're man will hopefully respect you for confiding in him and you should both get through this and come out stronger! Good luck, keep your priorities straight! :)
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