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I fancy famous females as well as guys, am I bi or just straight?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 September 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi!

I basically have an issue with my sexuality, I do not know anymore whether I am bisexual or straight.

Before around the time of May/June this year, I've always been certain I was heterosexual. I'd never been attracted to a female in the slightest, yet I've never been too fussy about experimenting lightly, you know, kissing girls for dares, when drunk etc...

Over a year ago, I never really even liked many males. I had a boyfriend from January 2011 until February 2012 and I had one celebrity crush. All of a sudden, about a year ago or less I suddenly seemed to go into overdrive: I started finding so many celebrity men attractive, like I could watch a film and just suddenly adore the main male character, it's weird and it still happens now. So in about a year I have gone from liking one famous male to about 28 males-ish, and I'm talking guys I really love, which is a lot apparently.

Anyway, so then it came to about May and this actress who I've always loved for her talent and personality, suddenly becomes really attractive to me... I actually saw her in real life in July at a convention and I realised I didn't just like/love her, I was sexually attracted to her. Now, thinking about famous people I have crushes on, she's definitely top 5 at least.

So at this point I'm like, that's a bit weird... But then not long after I notice my feelings for 3 other famous actresses. And before anyone tells me I'm just confused and perhaps mistaking my adoration for attraction, I'm not. I've had conversations with friends and they ask whether I would have sex with these women given the chance. I thought about it and my answer was definitely, I'd enjoy that like I'd enjoy it with any of the males on my "list".

So here we have, hypersexual feelings for these men and then the addition of only 4 females. I definitely know I like these girls and these men, but what makes me unsure as to whether I can class myself as bisexual is because I have never seen a girl who I've actually known, who isn't famous and is just regular who I have actually felt attracted to. Last month I did get drunk with some girls and I made out with a lot of them and that felt normal to me, I was aroused at the time but I think that was just alcohol.

I also wonder if I have never found a girl in real life I've found remotely attractive because I always prefer older men and women. Perhaps females of my age and in my area simply aren't my type? I do not know! But then again, I often see boys at my college who I am attracted to, but no girls? This is what makes me think I'm not bi, but am I?

Apparently the definition is that I am attracted to both men and women, and I am, in a way... I don't want anyone to tell me labels don't matter or whatever because it really is just nice to know what category you fit into if someone were to ask my orientation, it really is.

So what do you think I am? The bottom line is, I like famous men, I like 4 famous women, I like kissing girls but I've never found one attractive that wasn't on the big screen... Apart from when I saw my first female crush in real life! Verdict?

Please help, I just want to know which category you think I fit in, and I know sexuality is a large spectrum but I want it to be simple as possible for me so I know, thank you!

View related questions: crush, drunk, kissing, older men

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012):

Being a woman with a crush on another woman is not unheard of and a lot of it can be explained away by hormones. I remember having fantasies about women at that age, but it never translated to real life and the fact that you are not sexually attracted to real women is telling for me.

What you definitely should not to is try to fit yourself into a certain category at your age. I know that you feel a need to, but it is not a true need and I know that if I had tried to define myself as bi or gay at that age I never would have been able to return to my norm easily when I realized my mistake years later because of my family and friends expectations.

Experimentation is not a bad thing, but I caution you to be safe and careful not to do anything you will regret in the future, i.e. don't let alcohol be a factor. If you find that alcohol is necessary to allow you to be intimate with a woman then it is not legitimate.

I believe that what you are experiencing is normal and that in time you will realize that you are straight. Good luck!

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A female reader, Plumb United States +, writes (25 September 2012):

Plumb agony auntI think your in a questioning/experimental phase. Like you've said you've never had girls in your daily life that youve felt attracted to but have kissed and felt it to be normal. But then you've seen your celebrity crush in real life which is a bit diffrent in my opinon. I hope you find out a bit more about you sexual prefrence in time, just dont worry to much about it:)

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