A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy for 2 weeks and then finished with him as i really fancied his flatmate. I started dating his flatmate and we had a really great time and great sex for three weeks. I still see my ex at least three times a week at uni and it bought back feelings for him and on a night out we kissed. I decided to dump his flatmate and give it another go with him but now i really miss his flatmate what can i do?
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (28 January 2007):
 Drop them both and take a fresh new starta after a relax period
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Where is the consideration of other people's feelings in all of this? Where is the respect? What about love, honesty, fidelity, friendship?
How you are govering yourself- you are isolating yourself by following your sexual urges-there is no clear judgement...it is all just impulse.
You wonder why you are confused?
Have you ever thought to get counselling to address why you believe having casual sex and hopping back and forth from one parnter to another guilt free would not be a concern? It doesn't suggest responsibility nor compassion and empathy for others.
Like Martini suggests. If you decide you are not capable of having monogamous relationships; then stop hooking up with men who do want this and expect this.
Admit you are about multiple partners and about vague commitment which would suggest polygamy or there was another post from back in the summer where I crossed a term that could identify a lifestyle you would be more in tune with.
I don't practice this type of lifestyle and to me; it is apparent why there might be chaos in your life by your choices but...for the sake of others...you will need to decide what you want in life and your expectations to sex, relationships, and commitments then be honest with those you want a moment with or a brief encounter with.
Direct and honest is the best way to avoid confusion and heartache. Don't mislead others as that causes them pain and disallusionment.
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A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (28 January 2007):
 I must adsmit, when I first saw this question, I thought it had been posted by a fifteen yeaer old. I think you must realise that you cant continue to behave like this. its not so much about the sex. If you want to have sex with two guys thats entirely your choice but its more to do with the mentality that you have that bothers me. You cant keep messing with peoples feelings and emotions. I side with irish on this one. Stop seeing them both and give yourself some space okay. You might find you like being single and it will give you a chance to discover what you really want from life. Good Luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): For an adult woman, your behavior sounds a out of control here. You sound like you want to connect very badly with someone and any little signal one of these men gives you, makes you feel worthwhile and valued. So you dump one and run to the other and vice versa. Stop doing this. I would suggest to you to stop seeing them both and stop flitting back and forth and do some thinking about what you really want, in your life. Give yourself that space, to get your head on straight. Then when the time is right, get out and date other people. It's at this time, you must make a choice that is best for you and stick to the plan. You always choose the man who respects and treats you the best. If you bouncing back and forth, I have to ask...are you protecting yourself? Make sure you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Holy crap! That's disgusting. After seeing so many pre teens and early to mid teens with their set of relationship woes or lack thereof, this comes up.
Look, I believe what you really need to open yourself up with is the concept of a threesome, possibly even a polygamy of sorts. Don't say you don't believe in it. It's one thing to say it's 'wrong' and another to fantasize about more than one guy.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (28 January 2007):
 Wow, I'm kind of surprised your boyfriend took you back after you dumped him and went after one of his friends. It seems like you'll lose both of them for good if you dump your boyfriend again to go out with the flatmate. You need to make a decision and then live with it. This behaviour really isn't acceptable.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Make a decision and STICK TO IT!
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