A
female
age
36-40,
*adAsh6705
writes:O.k., basically I met the guy of my dreams and he lives a long way away from me. I am almost 23 and he is 26. We met the first time in person when he and his band were on tour and played a show where I lived about 7 months ago. We keep in touch online mostly and sometimes on the phone. A few weeks ago, they came to play a show where I live now and we got to spend a couple more days together and he told me that he thinks I'm "adorable" and really likes me and I told him how I felt too...I feel so amazing with him and I can't stop thinking about him! The only problem is that he lives so far away. I am going to visit him in about a month and I want to know how to tell him that I am interested in a relationship because I have applied to a school near where he lives, and if I am accepted, I will be moving there in less than a year. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (17 January 2008):
BadAsh6705 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just wanted to add some more info on this situation because it is so funny to me...I decided not to go visit. I thought well, if I do end up moving closer, maybe we can see what happens then. WELL was I wrong! Only a MONTH after this, I happened to meet an amazing guy at my job and we have been dating ever since. Also, I found out recently that the guy I was so crazy about has found a girl as well. Hmmm...funny how things work out, huh?
A
female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (27 November 2007):
BadAsh6705 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your positive advice!
I think it has really helped me to realize that I need to just slow down and just relax and let things happen naturally!
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 Well at least you have your head screwed on right! Okay so I have a little more information to go on!
I am of the belief that honesty is the best policy, but I also dont believe in getting ones feelings hurt unnecessarily. Perhaps the best thing to do is just see where things lead. Dont push it by "telling him" how you feel. Let him share a little about his feelings with you and vice versa. Just dont push it too much because it can be a put off for some people. Also, if he's just wanting a casual relationship he might get a bit of a fright and think that you are wanting a serious relationship.
But as I said before, I love my boyfriend but if there was one thing I could change about him, that would be his career choice. It is so hard waiting for him to come home from tours. I mean he has come home today, walked into the lounge, put his stuff on the floor and fallen asleep on the chair. Now that will be him till tomorrow.
He is going to be completely out of it for the next week, so conversation is going to be minimal while his body readjusts to sleep as they can be deprived of sleep a lot on tour. So by next week I will get a conversation out of him, and the following week he is away again.
We love each other so it would be difficult to just say "enough", but at the same time a musicians life is not always what you see on the television. Its not always a life of fame and fortune. And we do have to get used to them being oggled by all the girls. Yes, its nice to know that he could have picked any one of them, but he picked you. BUT, would any one of those girls put up with what I have to? I doubt it. Thats why I just wanted you to know what you would be getting into before you decided to jump in feet first.
If its nothing too serious, and you make a point of keeping it like that, then it would be fine and I would see where it leads!
Good luck and keep us informed how its going!
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A
female
reader, gmapeaches +, writes (26 November 2007):
 sounds like you have it all together... being a musician doesn't make him a animal.. there are plenty of car salesman who can't be faithful.. good luck.. it sounds like he would be damn lucky to have you.. i hope he can see that...
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A
female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (26 November 2007):
BadAsh6705 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the comment!
I guess I should be more clear, I don't necessarily want a "serious" relationship or expect anything, I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I'm sure he knows that I am interested in him seeing as we have spent time together in that way (flirting, cuddling together, kissing, etc.) and there will be more chances for that when I see him next month, so I guess I don't have too much to worry about.
I know what you mean about dating a musician, when I went to their shows I was very understanding and tried to stay out of the way while they were talking with fans and other bands and one night he and his other bandmate were writing some music together and I spent time with their manager to let them be and I think he appreciates that I am understanding of that. I am not a jealous person, so it is not an issue to me to know there are probably all kinds of women looking at him...sometimes that's what makes me like him more is that he would choose me! :o)
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (26 November 2007):
Telling him how you feel can be tricky, simply because him telling you that he thinks you are adorable doesnt really mean that he is into you. It could do, but it could also mean that he likes you in a different way than you like him so you have to be so careful not to tell him how you feel and then have your heart broken.
Before you tell him how you feel and that you want a relationship, I would suggest spending a little more quality time together. Find out how he feels and then take it from there!
Also, i have been seeing my boyfriend who is a roadie for some renowned Scottish bands, and also plays with them from time to time and its not easy being the woman sitting at home waiting for her man to come home. He is away for between 6-8 months of the year and I miss him when he's gone. He started this 2 months into our relationship and it was really difficult at first. There were some times when we didnt think it would last because it was just too damn hard! It has but I have had to have a thick skin too! I have had to put up with woman flirting, almost throwing themselves at him. Him being in a country thousands of miles away not knowing if he is okay because he cant always phone or speak to you every day.
Its not as great as everyone thinks to be seeing a musician because there work is away from home. And if you have any thoughts of infidelity or have any issues with previous relationships infidelity that may make you insecure, then a musician is not someone you want to date.
I am not trying to put you off, just want you to know what its like being in a relationship with a musician.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (26 November 2007):
Telling him how you feel can be tricky, simply because him telling you that he thinks you are adorable doesnt really mean that he is into you. It could do, but it could also mean that he likes you in a different way than you like him so you have to be so careful not to tell him how you feel and then have your heart broken.
Before you tell him how you feel and that you want a relationship, I would suggest spending a little more quality time together. Find out how he feels and then take it from there!
Also, i have been seeing my boyfriend who is a roadie for some renowned Scottish bands, and also plays with them from time to time and its not easy being the woman sitting at home waiting for her man to come home. He is away for between 6-8 months of the year and I miss him when he's gone. He started this 2 months into our relationship and it was really difficult at first. There were some times when we didnt think it would last because it was just too damn hard! It has but I have had to have a thick skin too! I have had to put up with woman flirting, almost throwing themselves at him. Him being in a country thousands of miles away not knowing if he is okay because he cant always phone or speak to you every day.
Its not as great as everyone thinks to be seeing a musician because there work is away from home. And if you have any thoughts of infidelity or have any issues with previous relationships infidelity that may make you insecure, then a musician is not someone you want to date.
I am not trying to put you off, just want you to know what its like being in a relationship with a musician.
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A
female
reader, gmapeaches +, writes (26 November 2007):
well you pretty much summed it up.. It is your choice whether you want to dangle your feet or just jump in.. either way.. there is a chance the water will be cold.. but there is just as easily a chance it will be warm.. you only lose if you don't try.. you never know.. i hate to be a broken record because i seem to be giving the same advice over and over.. at best love is a very risky adventure.. a very risky adventure.. under the best circumstances it is pure luck that two people who are both looking for the same thing.. happen to come to each other.. but when it happens its worth it all.. musicians are especially risky.. they have so much to choose from so many distractions from what is really important.. i would hate to type cast your guy.. but i don't know him. only you do.. and still you do not know that much.. apply for the school that offers you the best opportunity to become a better you.. if it is near him.. then put it on the table.. if you are the jumping in the pool kind of girl.. put it out there.. if you are the dangling in the water kind of girl.. tell him you are moving closer.. when you get there.. give him the chance to be more to you.. see what happens.. i am a dangler..like to check it out feel the water.. no matter what you do.. i wish you the best.
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