A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Have you ever been in the situation where you excel at something; you show your talented in a particular thing, but you don't feel your heart is in it?Recently, I graduated the top of my class in journalism. I did the course, wanting to try something different and challenge myself, but by the end of it, I was tired and couldn't wait to get my old life back!Despite how well I did, it made me realise how great my life was before. Sure, my job wasn't an amazing one, but I was HAPPY in my life because I had the time AND money to enjoy those things I truely loved! In my spare time, I was able to completely tune out from work and live IN THE MOMENT. Last year, while I was studying and working as a journalist, I could never UNCLUTTER my mind. When I think about becoming a reporter full time (as I worked for FREE last year while studying); I think of pressure; loooong hours in a newsroom.. where I could never THINK straight.. I could only ever write well when I was at home without distraction! I think of stress; sleepless nights; having to constantly be on the ball generating news stories and being forced to write about topics I have NO interest in. When I think of being a reporter, I think of beautiful summer evenings interrupted by breaking news stories; or instead of GOING to my favourite concerts to ENJOY them; being sent to conduct interviews.. and write about everyone ELSE having fun.I feel like I know it's not what I want and I'm more than happy just to freelance on the side. But I struggle with feeling I'm lazy; or that I lack ambition. People regularly tell me I was BORN to be a journalist, but I just don't feel that. I worked SOO hard last year. I won several awards and built a contact base of over 100 people - but it never made me happy or fulfilled. I can see that the work in that industry is all-consuming. They don't expect you to want to have a life outside of it, but I do - my lifestyle is very important to me.Please give me your opinion of why you think I feel this way. I don't feel like I'm not capable, or that I'm afraid of change.. I just feel like it's not what I want.. that I'll miss my old life.. and I want to keep up my extra curricular interests and not have to cancel these because I'm working nightshifts etc. I feel that the cons definitely outweigh the pros here. Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): QueenKatie,
What a beautiful answer. Excellent grammar by the way. You've got a wonderful writing ability yourself hehe!
Thank you for your heartfelt advice. I think I just needed someone (like you) to confirm it was ok to feel the way I feel. When my tutors find out I've literally turned down these amazing reporting jobs I've been offered, they are going to let fly at me. I want to be confident that I made my decision to talk away for the right reasons, but I've always had a bad habit of becoming influenced by others thoughts and feelings around me.
I have this STRONG feeling that being a reporter is just not for me. You get a real insight into how a reporter lives when you study journalism. In my opinion, they DON'T live, they just work.. but they choose that life because they love that. It's a huge price to pay to see your name in print though. But they have a nose for news and they LOVE hunting down juicy stories, whereas I only ever had specific writing interests and hated writing about most of the topics I was expected to.
I'm sure that following my heart means I'll save plenty of $$ on prozac in the future!
Thanks again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Congratulations! You've realized something at 22 that it takes most people another 20 years (and a midlife crisis) to recognize: that worldly success isn't everything in life, that time is more important than money, that wealth doesn't equal happiness, that doing something you feel is meaningful with your day is important. Other people might tell you that you're a born journalist - but they're not you, and they're not making choices about their own lives. Only you can decide for yourself. Following a path you feel is wrong just because other people tell you it's suited to you is inauthentic and highly likely to lead to unhappiness, resentment, premature ageing, and the purchase of a sports car aged 45.
You are clearly an extremely talented writer, but the skills that journalists use are not exclusive to the newsroom. They are also used by other professions that might offer positions more suited to the way you want to live. For instance, there are many positions for journalists with better conditions than the newsroom, which will leave you time and thought space outside to do other things (e.g. creative writing). Have you thought about using your talents in a good cause, for instance by writing copy for a charity or hospital communications department?
Please also remember: you are still very young. You have time on your hands and can afford to take a risk. Try following your heart. If it works out, great! If it doesn't, and you decide that you miss the newsroom after all, there's no shame in plunging back in where you left off. You built up a contacts database in a year - you can do that again if you need to. What you can't do is to get rid of the nagging feeling that you made the wrong decision, or didn't give the path you really wanted to follow a chance. Good luck!
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