A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im in some trouble here. about half a year ago I started this girl who lives in canada while I live in the states. yea a ldr. we had such a connection. all the same likes and dislikes. are connection was so strong that thru some days after meeting her, one day she didn't call, I texted her while at work. asked her how she was doin. she said "im fine how you doin?". that's not how she talks. so I called her and asked her what's wrong. she wouldn't tell me. I asked her if it involved her roommate(he has a thing for her) she said yeah, after that i knew exactly what happnd. he confessed to her his feelings. I told her that and she told me I was right. and hounded me about how I knew. that's how we started dating. after a couple months we met up in california. for the first three days we where inseparable. unfortunately at the time I was under the influence of prescription for my injured leg. after awhile I began smothering her and basically suffocating her. when we got back she dumped me. I tried to explain to her that wasn't me. those three days where the best days of my life. I havnt been that happy since my ex was murdered. after she dropped me I fell into depression. it took three months before I could even smile again. its been about six months now and over the last six months I joined the military to try and get her out of my head and start my life anew. now after the eve of my ex's death all I can think about is her and how happy I was just being around her. I want her to be happy and with someone that would treat her better then I ever could. but I want to be that person to make her happy, to be there for her whenever she has a problem, to protect her from anything that could ever cause her to feel the slightest unhappy. its been six months I can't stop thinkin about her. I dream about her. each day thru bootcamp id think about her and it would get me thru any challenge. I wish each night I could hit the reset button. what's goin on with me? I want her back. i lost her already and this is worst than anything I ever felt. AND I'VE BEEN STABBED, id take another stabbing if it meant I didn't have to feel this way. how can I talk to her? what do I say? I tried to tell her the truth before it all went south. I don't know what to do. I've dated other women but I just end up pushing them away. I've done all I can think of. im losing it. the memory of her gets me thru the tough times overseas and yet thinkin about her just hurts me. what do I do? I don't know if I should even try to regain contact. or if I should keep trying to forget her even tho so far that hasn't worked. what do I do?
View related questions:
at work, military, my ex, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): I didn't even read the whole thing. So you don't have to take this message personally. Not that you should take anyone's advice here too personally. Anyways... I just got a brief aspect of your story and it made me think of something similar to mine.Before me, my boyfriend had a serious long term relationship in which he was to get married too. But he made some mistakes because she didn't appreciate him. However, after they worked through that rough patch, she just upped and left him. Said she would be back in a couple days- but took his cats with her.Then he struggled with cancer that following year.Struggling with the idea of life and death, having nothing to live for because he lost his fiance and his 'other women' (not that i agree, but i understood his story), he joined the army. To become a combat medic.In training, he met my cousin and, thus, we were introduced via phone.He has been through a lot of sickness and depression during his time there. Also, a lot of worry about being 'good' for me. But my point is, if all that had happened in his life, didn't... he would never of joined the army. He would never of met my cousin. He would never of met me. Sometimes things happen for a reason.And also, another note. There is sometimes the one before the one. And that relationship has a certain romance to it... Cherish that. Learn from that. But if she is not the one, please help yourself love again for the one who is your one...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): You dated her without ever meeting her face to face, then you met, the first three days were great, but the rest of the trip not so great? You say you were on meds, did she know? In either case, you can not blame the medication for you suffocating her. You are still suffocating her, except she got away, and you are only hurting yourself. Learn to live on your own, without her, without anyone. And do things for you from now on, not because of others. Don't join the military so you can get her out of your head. Who told you the military is great to make people forget? Its absolutely not. For some people getting into activity and do tons of work help them get over someone or something, for others it has the opposite effect.Focus on getting you well and healthy now. You are depressed, feel bad, and I can not for bare life believe that three days with a woman who later didn't want anything to do with you is the reason for your depression. The reason is within yourself. Find it, work with it, and get over it. You want someone to care for, it wasn't this woman, no matter how much you wanted it to be her. You weren't the one for her. But you could very well be the one for someone else, once you are in good health (mentally). Love life and embrace what you have, not what you want.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xolani  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 Try to contact her explain everything to her. Tell her how much you care and love her and you cann't live without her. Then take it from there. Good luck...
...............................
|
