A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I ended up in bed with my friend's dad last Thursday night. Basically, I do some secretarial work for him at his office a few days a week, and last Thursday night we were working late and after I joined him and a few of his colleagues for drinks. We stayed out much later than I expected, and I woke up in bed with him in his apartment the next morning.To be honest, I had a lot to drink so the night was a bit of a blur. I don't remember doing anything with him, but when I woke up in the morning my bra was on the ground and I was only in my underwear. He was also undressed.I feel so bad about this. I know that we were being too close during the night and we both crossed the line. We hardly spoke in the morning, and I left as fast as I could. I don't know if I can work for him again.He's separated from his wife (I know that doesn't excuse anything), but at least he's not in a relationship. I don't know what to do guys, should I tell my friend, or should I just move on? I feel so low about this.Thanks guys x
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): Don't tell your friend.
Don't get so drunk that you have these blackouts. You could get yourself into serious trouble.
How can you not know whether or not you had sex with him? Surely things would have felt (or even smelt) a little different the next day?
I think you should go and have an STI check to be honest.
You made a big mistake. Learn from it, move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): You should talk to him first OP, figure out this together, you're not the only whose relationship with this girl is at stake so you should talk to him about this first. People often say honesty is the best policy here but she could lose you and her dad to this so maybe that's not the case in this circumstance.
Talk to him about what happened and see if he remembers the details and what the best way of moving forward is. I mean you had sex with her dad, that's kind of a big deal but that doesn't mean she has to know if not knowing is better for her.
If that is the case then your penance for this will be the guilt you feel. Who knows though, maybe she likes the idea of her dad hooking up with young drunk girls. He is free and single afterall, why shouldn't he get his?
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Are you sure you weren't raped? If you were drunk and he had sex with you without your consent (since you were in no condition to consent), that is rape. Either you file a report against him or stop working for him and avoid him like the plague. He doesn't sound like a decent man at all. And no, don't tell your friend about it unless you want everyone to know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): I think you should try to speak to him first to find out what he is planning to do and take it from there. There is a very good chance he doesn't want his daughter to find anything out about his sex life (or whatever you want to call it), so I wouldn't tell her anything unless he agrees. I personally think it would be better to keep the secret though. If it was a mistake that you both regret and are not likely to repeat then I don't see why you should upset your friend over it. Just learn from it and move on. And try not to beat yourself up either, it was a dumb thing to do but it's not the worst thing either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): Hi
No, don't. It would cause her no end of heartache.Her Dad is an adult and he can do as he pleases.You are old enough but made a bad error of judgement,you both did. He won't be telling your friend so you have no need to.Don't tell anyone.
If you can find work elsewhere then do it.The least he can do is to give you a good reference and help you on your way.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Yes, absolutely you should. It's going to come out anyway, so deal with the consequences now... Don't use the alcohol as an excuse though...
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