A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i had been with my girl friend for 1 yr 6mth, we found each other at the perfect time. i admired,respected and fell in love with her for 6 mnths befor we got together.the day we started seeing each was incrediable, i had never ever wanted s.one in my whole life before as i did her..to have her was something that thrilled me and terrified meall at once.. both coming form troubled childhoods we built a love on trust and repect.. she opened up to me, s.thin which takes her time. my father passed away, 6 mths after his death i slowly lost control of my life, my career, my health and my precious love.. closed off from reality i began using cocaine daily, became addicted and struggled with everythin. living zombie, one person i worked with tapped into this and convinced me i was fine, e.one else was wrong. she kept cocaine goin. my partner was at wits end, my so called highlighted it in twisted form. i was dying inside. i slept in my car as i couldnt face my girl. my friend took advantage one i was crying, ended up in bed briefly. my girl found out months later and was destroyed. the friend has carried on with her life, i got off cocaine and my girl wanted to try work through it, she wanted me back the girl she fell in love with. it is now 9 months later, i live every day in torture, my head full of moments i shared with my partner. i cannot believe what i did, how locked away i became with drugs and how i let someone twist my judgement so much i doubted everything that was mine an me. my partner is still strugglin, we'r close to selling our house. we are like strangers at times, but we both love each other immensly, both heartbroken at our loss. both strugglin to move on. i am close to breaking down.. i have always fought my whole life to better myself and progree.. then i have thrown it all away just as i found the one to share it all wih...please, any anwers as to what i should do.. or your true views .
View related questions:
drugs, fell in love, heartbroken, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (16 November 2007):
 You have made mistakes, but you have also come such a long way since you were "that person"! Good on you for moving on from drugs and making the decision to get your life back in order.
I think the most important thing you need to understand though is that although your girlfriend wants to help you and be your rock, at this moment in time, you need to get yourself sorted out first. You need to know what you want, and have an action plan to get there.
If you want to start again, its probably best to break away from all the things that didnt help you when you went off the rails. Get a job in another company.......even if you dont want to. The person that slept with you at that job will be a constant reminder of "those days". Also, it may not be such a bad thing to sell your house and move elsewhere. Again, start afresh!!
Get your life back on track and then get your relationship back on track. Speak to your girlfriend and suggest that you start again, but tell her how you feel. Tell her what you have told us. If she loves you, and I think she does considering everything that she has put up with, she too will want a fresh start. If you want this to work though, you have to open up to her! It will be difficult and you will have the support of everyone on this site, but you have to want to do it, and you have to be strong enough to make the first move yourself. But keep your girlfriend in the loop whatever you do. Make her feel apart of what you want to achieve. A life that both of you can be proud of, and your relationship with the woman of your dreams back on track!
Good luck and let us know how you get on!
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Hi there. Such a tough situation. But good on you for moving on from the cocaine, and this horrible person who kept you going on it. When we are down, we tend to drown ourselves in ANYTHING but our actual pain.
You said some really stunning things in your question, and i truly think that you should say those things to your ex girl... You said "i live every day in torture, my head full of moments i shared with my partner. i cannot believe what i did, how locked away i became with drugs and how i let someone twist my judgement so much i doubted everything that was mine an me."
Does your partner know this? Does she know your regrets, and how badly you'd like to try AGAIN?
Is there hope? Yes - there is ALWAYS hope.
You NEED to speak to her one way or the other. It will be hard, but love will conquer.
Maybe, you can still make this work. 9 months is a long time, but miracles still do happen. You just need to believe that they can.
Good luck. I'll be thinking of you.
...............................
|
