A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was dating someone for a while and I ended up finding out he betrayed and used me. I stopped talking to him but I cant seem to get the good memories out of my mind, it's killing me. I just wanna get over him but I can't. I feel like I want to call him again and be friends or have some kind of relationship other than what we had before. I find myself daydreaming and just trippin out on everyone because I miss him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Hi there! well i can just imagine how you feel, coz its not everyday that we will meet someone who will make us feel this way for a person, I guess that's what we called love.I am a woman and i can feel for you. Its too cliche to say don't talk to him, avoid him which is a good thing because it will really help you heal your broken heart.But I would like to suggest a diff'rent approach to you that i have proven effective for me, If you feel like you miss him what you need to do is to think about all the bad sides he has. The things why you should not miss him. The things why you are no longer together. Then ask yourself, do i really need someone in my life who will make me feel sad and miserable? Try hard not to reminisce about the good times. Instead point out the bad times. which weighs more? So after thinking it over, do you think his worth missing for? think about it...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): "What should I do?"
Instead of pining over false fawning and flattery, ego-stroking and vanity-fluffing, remember what a louse he REALLY is, which is why he's now your ex.
I know, I know, "he told you he loved you" but he never did and never will; why you continue to waste your life over a loser like him is beyond me.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 Sounds like what you are going through is fairly normal.
You probably had some strong feelings for this person before you came to the realization that he wasn't up to any good. You can't simply change those feelings over night, especially when the heart is involved.
I would encourage you to follow your head in this matter by not calling him. Your heart and emotional side are reminding you of all the good things you shared because they brought about feelings of pleasure. Nobody wants to be reminded about the bad things.
I would encourage you to write down all the good things about your boyfriend. I suspect they are insignificant when you compare them with what he put you through. Hopefully you'll realize that the good sides are just an illusion over the real state of your relationship.
In the meantime, accept your wandering thoughts as normal but respond to them by thinking of "I deserve better" and recall something he did to you that was just plain wrong or unforgivable. In addition, try to find things that will occupy your time in a positive manner. Find something you've wanted to do with your life and start it.
Finally, don't let your ex-boyfriend memory steal perhaps the best period of your life. Your life matters -- don't waste it. Someone who will treat you like gold is out there -- just let yourself emotionally be available so it can happen.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird +, writes (3 October 2012):
 Stop thinking about how great things were and think about why you dumped him. Keep yourself busy and focus your attention on your friends and family.
Concentrate on a hobby-if you don't have one then find one. In other words take your attention away from him because if what he did was bad enough for you to leave him then you are much better off without him.
Don't go back to him and don't form a friendship with him. You need time to heal.
Good Luck!
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