A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now but i now have a problem that has really upset me. While we were having sex and my boyfriend was about to cum he said "Michelle"...but that isn't my name...i got really upset but he said he didn't remember saying that..he denied it and now i have ended my relationship with him. I think he has either cheated on me or is fantasising about some woman called Michelle...what do you agony aunts think? So sad.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 November 2013):
 Well it does not mean he was having an affair... or even a crush on someone.
but absent an affair I think breaking up with him was an over-reaction.
We all have fantasies. We all get crushes even if we are happy with our partners... it happens.
yes it sucks that he called you by another woman's name... but it does not mean he does not love you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): He probably is not having an affair but sure is fantasising about another woman. People can say they like to fantasise with other people and in my mind it means you would rather be having sex with them than your partner.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): He told me i was been ridiculous, that he didn't say michelle, and he asked me not to message him because he was annoyed with my accusations.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 November 2013):
 I think it was unnecessarily extreme for you to break up with your long-term B/F for this discretion.... but that is up to you.....
What you could have done (and can re-open with parted B/F if you wish).... is give B/F a "pass" for this.... AND use it to open a discussion about whatever it REALLY is all about.... Who knows???? Maybe he'd just listened to the Beatles' "Michelle"... and it was stuck in his cranium....
Maybe, he DID have an old G/F named Michelle.... and - for some crazy reason - her name popped in to his head at that inopportune moment....
It would be very graceful of you to get a copy of my pamphlet, titled: "Guys, be SURE to give your girlfriend (every one of them!) a non-specific "pet name" that you can use, such that you don't have to 'splain if you screw up and repeat that name during s*x.... 'cuz she'll think it's HER name"... .and give it to him....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): You did the right thing, I would have broken up with him too. It is highly likely he is cheating if you've been together for a few YEARS then it is not an innocent slip of he tongue UNLESS he has also been seeing someone else! I mean ot obviously WAS a slip of the tongue but there was a reason for it.
You don't just be with someone monogamously for a few years then one day all of a sudden in a moment of passion call out anothers name! That is about as unlikely as he were to say some totally random word like the name of the street he lives on or something. If it is so random then why "Michelle" why not some other name or a dude's name?? See??
It was a slip of the tongue alright but it was not random!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): I have text him and he said he is not seeing anyone else and that he didn't say michelle, but i cant get it out of my head. He has never cheated on me and we was very happy...my gut reaction feels he is not seeing anyone but maybe fancy a michelle from work?...I dont know?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): that must have been a terrible moment to be called by your boyfriend someone else's name while making love to you?
You say you have ended your relationship with him, has he tried to call you and talk to you about what happened?
I agree with "no nonsense Aidan" You need to talk to your boyfriend about that night again, after all it seems that this is a one time slip of a tongue !! right? you say you've been together couple of years, has he cheated on you at all? or did you always have really a loving, a quite good and a smooth relationship until that night? I tnink you should talk to him then you can decide if you want to breakup. Good luck and all the best
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2013):
 I don't blame you one bit.
You have been together for a couple of years so it's not about a "slip of the tongue" because the relationship is so new.
The fact that he "can't remember" I think is BS, but my guess it he thought it would work.
I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (17 November 2013):
Ummmmm I have said another man's name in the heat of passion. I didn't mean it and I don't know why I did it. I truly felt terrible and apologized right away.
This could of been an honest mistake. Even if he has a fantasy about a woman named Michelle doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Have you ever thought of someone else while doing it?
I think you need to clarify what is going on. If you think he is seeing another woman and you can feel it in your gut. Then he probably is.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (17 November 2013):
Tell him he said it so not to deny it. Ask him if there is some-one else, or if he has been unhappy lately and why? These sorts of things don’t happen out of the blue. He should at least acknowledge your feelings and how upset you are by this. Even if he genuinely doesn’t know why he said it and there is no such person, he should acknowledge it was insensitive and apologise for the unhappiness it has caused. If he can’t do this then there isn’t much of a relationship to save anyway.
I wish you all the very best.
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