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*ric1361
writes:i left my g/f of 3 yrs because she would not give more in the relationship, she said just having her was enough. the more i gave the less she gave. she had the addatude that guys do and will do what she says. she was rude, controlling, abuvise,a bully, the last yr was the worse,shes wrote 3 or 4 times about meanieless things,i didnt reply.i know i did the right thing and i know she still cant believe someone dumped her, but why do i feel guilty, and is it normal to wonder if i was right? Reply to this Question
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reader, PsyCookie +, writes (22 July 2008):
 You stayed with her for 3 years. The reason you may feel guilty is because you may feel that you could have made this relationship work since you had been with her for so long. In 3 years you developed deeper feelings for her than most people would in a shorter time and those feelings will not clearly fade away so soon, something that you may confuse with guilt. Probably you still want to be with her, even when she abuses you, because you still care about her.
But you feel that what you did was the right thing to do and I agree. This woman didn't appreciate you and verbally, emmotionally, and psychologically abused you and you still stuck with her for a LONG time. She thought you would stay that way but she really doesn't know people.
And yes, it's normal to wonder if you're right and to doubt yourself for this. But what you did was right. Any person deserves for something good as long as they're willing to give it back and that's what you did but you sadly didn't get back. She thought that by being so dominant would keep you at bay, but you proved her wrong.
She will likely NOT change at all, and most likely lie to you to get back, not because she cares about you but because she can't stand the feeling of being wrong. She was wrong on treating you the way you did, but she thought every controlling thing she did was the best decision in the world. Probably by you hitting her with reality will make her see her ways are wrong but she would want to go back to them since they're her comfort zone.
It's obvious you still have lingering feelings for her but don't give into them. You sound like a nice guy and you deserve someone who will treat you the same way you treat the person. Don't try to come back to her and just move forward.
Good luck and I hope everything will be all right with you.
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