A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I just recently finished with my boyfriend after nearly a year cos we kept arguing and I didn't trust him. I had to go through his emails and kept checking his phone. The reason for this was because he lied to me about living with someone else at the beginning of our relationship (for the 1st 6weeks). I didn't find out until his ex rung me. She was very devestated.He blamed it all on her saying she was difficult etc. She had been a patient to the out of hours service where he works (he works for a Mental health team) for taking an overdose. She had a lot of issues. He convinced me that the relationship was just going through the motions when he met me and would have broken up anyway.We split up once before due to rows about me not trusting him but he came back to me after a week and sent me a long letter saying how much he loved me.I also found out in his past he had left his wife for someone else and for that person he left her for, when that relationship was also breaking down after a few years, he started sleeping with someone else at work (she doesn't know about it)This all made me very paranoid and caused me to be angry, agressive and moody with him some of the time. Two weeks ago we had a massive row and I sent a message dumping him in my anger and he hasn't even bothered to contact me. I feel quite hurt and heartbroken how this man, who kept saying over and over that he loved me more than anything etc, could just let this go without a fight?How do I get over this and how could he just let me go after telling me he loved me so much?
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at work, heartbroken, his ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Okay, you might be hurting; but what you should do now, is have a party; celbrate that this guy is out of your life;
he was cheating on you; you could not trust him; vow, how could you believe his word of love?his actions speakds louder and different then his words.
No, please, don't give him anymore of your time or love or affection; NO MORE CHANCES;
Start thinking about yourself; is this how you want to live for the rest of your life; would you like to have children with somebody like that; somebody that you cannot trust and rely upon;
Get out there, find a guy that will respect you, not cheat; somebody that will love you; and honestly love you, not just verbally claim to do so;
Come on get going; don't hang around waiting for him to come back; if he does, he must get the message; TOO LATE!
Be strong; go an have fun and find the right guy to have a future with!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 July 2008):
He's doing exactly what he does everytime. Things with you have stopped being perfect so he's run away from it. He's probably looking for his next little fling.
The guy is an idot who cannot be trusted. You've done the right thing and now you have to move on.
I think you are more hurt that he's not back begging because it's hurting your pride.
Move on and hold your head high.
Good Luck!! xx
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