A
male
age
41-50,
*ugostephen
writes:Can anyone help me with every night i go to sleep i dream of my ex. These dreams feel so real. They can vary to me kissing her, cuddling her to her with another man. We broke up 2 months ago, and we are expecting our first child, she says she no longer loves me. These dreams feel so god dam real and when i wake up i feel so upset and the pain hurts so much. Anyadvice would be great because i am dreading going to sleep on a night.
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broke up, kissing, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 Hi again,
I understand how you must be feeling. But by the same token a few aunts offered you advice last time, did you read it?
You sound like you need professional help, if you merely write in with the same question over and over again I can't see how this is going to help you at all.
Get help, you need to talk to someone face to face.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Sorry to hear that you're still hurting after the break up. I think I've seen you post before about this very difficult situation, and I think at this point it would be best for you to seek some counseling to help you with the emotions that are causing you so much distress. If in fact she is not going to have you back, you're going to have to come up with some positive strategies for coping with the reality of the situation.
As far as dealing with the dreams, I would suggest that you avoid alcohol and caffeine for at least 6 hours before going to bed. Exercise, preferably done in the morning so that your body has a healthy dose of endorphins all day, would be a help too. There are some CDs with relaxing soothing music that might give your subconscious something else to chew on while you sleep. I'm not very familiar with the techniques of meditation, but that might be another avenue to explore as well.
I guess the unresolved feelings you're experiencing are probably the root cause for these dreams, and until you take some positive action to cope with them, you're not likely to be feeling much better soon.
Take care of yourself, I wish you all the best.
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