A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Recently I've been feeling down, upset and fed up with my life. I have many things going on and I just can't see life getting better at the moment. I sometimes think that it would be much easier and better being with my mum, since she passed away 2 years ago nothing has been the same. It's horrible, strange and I feel empty without her. I am also in a job I really hate, luckily, it's with an agency but I haven't told them as I think if I do I'll end up with no job and I have a car to run and bills to pay. I am so fed up, I don't know what career I want but I do know I don't want to work in the office anymore. It's a horrible atmosphere and the staff are so rude. I need some advice on what to do. Should I tell the agency? I just want things to start looking up and I want to feel happy again. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 April 2017):
 Sorry for your loss. Yes tell the agency and ask them have they any other jobs? Maybe speak to a professional if you are having suicidal thoughts. Spend more time with friends and people who love you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (4 April 2017):
 Sending you a big HUG. I am so sorry you lost your mum so young. I lost mine at a much older age but still feel her loss 17 years later. It is something we never "get over"; we simply learn to cope with their absence.
You don't mention friends. Do you have any close friends you can talk to? Often just putting your feelings into words can help you unravel them. What about other family members? Does your doctor know how you are feeling?
Regarding the job, we spend such a large part of our life at work that it really can be soul destroying to be in a job you hate. You have now tried office work and found it is not for you. That's good. One ticked off the list. Now think what you WOULD like to do. What are you passionate about? Is there any work in that field and what qualifications would you need to get into such a job? For instance, do you enjoy keeping fit? Could you train as a fitness instructor? Do you love animals? Could you train to work with animals in some capacity? Are you interested in nutrition? Could you qualify to work in this field? Would you be interested in going into nursing? Whatever it is you want to try, you will probably have to put work in to get there but it will be so worth it in the end.
The agency should have other placements on their books. Speak to them and ask them if they have anything else you could try. If you say that you want to gain experience of different places of work, they will see this as a positive, especially for someone your age. Don't complain about where you work unless it is something serious like bullying or you will just be viewed as a malcontent. You never know, perhaps another office will actually suit you better and you will be able to stay until you figure out what you actually want to do.
Good luck. Have another HUG.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2017): Hi there sorry you feel that way, life has this ups and downs thing, and you're young and maybe don't have a whole lot of exposure to that yet. But do you know that this too will pass and you will feel better if you stay open to being better. If you are feeling despair or like life isn't worth living, then please talk to your doctor. If you need some one to talk to about how you're feeling I think you should ask for help. It is so hard to lose a parent, at any age, so it's just kind of crazy that you haven't had the grief counseling that you need. The job thing maybe like a symptom of the grief but you can get past this just need to ask for help. This too shall pass. You'll be OK. Just get the help that you know you need.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 April 2017):
 I think therapy, either through your doctor or a charity, would be very useful to you - please don't keep these suicidal feelings to yourself.
As for your job, look for a new one, but keep your current one until you can find a replacement. Life will feel far worse if you have no income.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (3 April 2017):
If the agency are your employers (rather than the office where you work) there should be no problem with you asking if they have any other assignments that you could take instead. You still might have to put up with the assignment for a few weeks but it'll probably become easier if you know the end is in sight. Don't end up jobless, however. If the agency don't have an alternative slot for you - start applying for other jobs and secure one before you quit.
Should you tell the agency that the atmosphere is horrible and the staff are really rude? I think you could put it a bit more gracefully than that by saying you don't feel like you fit in there and you fancy a change. (Unless you are actually being bullied in which case I think you should mention it to the agency)
Like AuntyBimBim also suggests some bereavement counselling might be in order to help you through the death of your mother if you haven't had it already. Try your G.P or contact CRUSE the bereavement charity.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 April 2017):
 First up I am sorry to hear about your Mum, its never easy to lose a parent but for it to happen to you at such a young age would be difficult to bear.
While I would never advocate somebody stay in a job where they are unhappy, as you seem to be, I think in this case better to stay there for a time while you check out the job market. It is always easier to find a job if you are already employed ... I am going to assume this is the case with agencies as well.
It would also be a good idea to talk to somebody about your mother's passing, just to help you develop some strategies to cope and also to help you through the grieving process. Your GP would be a good place to start, they should be able to recommend or refer you on.
I don't have any words that will make you feel better or happier, I'm afraid the grieving is a process that you have to go through, but be aware we are here if you need to offload.
So stay at work in the interim and make an appointment with your doctor for as soon as possible.
Sending all the positive vibes I have across the oceans to you.
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