A
female
age
30-35,
*x-Scorpio-xX
writes:Hi,Well I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and it’s been going really well and we see each other most weekends and sometimes a couple of days throughout the week ~ but recently I’ve been feeling really insecure. I know he is a loyal(he dated one of my friends for a year previously and never cheated on her- and she was his first girlfriend and last proper one before me) and he is polite, well mannered, comes from a good background etc but for some reason I just can’t stop feeling like there is something wrong. He has a lot of friends who are girls (some the same age and some a couple of years younger) and he seems to text them a lot, and I don’t want to tell him to get rid of his friends who are girls simply for my own selfish ways. I don’t really have any friends who are boys so that’s not an issue of me being hypocritical. I am a naturally jealous/suspicious person anyway (I’m a Scorpio) and I try to keep telling myself that he’s been friends with these girls longer than he’s known me and if he liked any of them then they would’ve dated and gone out~ I moved to the 6th form only September 2009 and they’ve all been there since 2004 (starting from age 11 and we are now 18. Some of his younger friends though are 15-16). Just recently though~ he doesn’t text me as much as he used to, or put as many x’s on the end of his texts (sometimes none) but we have been under a lot of stress recently due to exams and whatnot. He used to also text me nearly everyday asking how i was/what was i up to etc, but now he rarely does. I’m wondering if I’ve simply just made myself paranoid by reading a lot of articles about boyfriends cheating and have convinced myself that it’s going to happen to me? He also usually has his phone on him. Also on Saturday I asked him if he wanted to sleep round which he seemed quite happy with but then today told me that he couldn’t make it since he was going out with people, which is understandable as it is his 18th birthday and he has a lot of friends and probably wants to drink as he is now legally able to, but still~ I feel a little upset about it. To be fair though, I’m not sure which plans he had first. I’ve never had a relationship before- he is my first boyfriend~ so could it be that maybe it’s just lack of experience/reality that is making me feel like this? I’m scared of bringing this up with him in case he takes it the wrong way and thinks I’m accusing him of cheating. Deep down I don't think he would cheat on me~ but the insecurity is kind of taking over and I’m usually quite a confident, happy person. Is there any way I can overcome this without coming across as clingy, needy or selfish? or maybe i'm just over-reacting? If it’s any relevance, he’s an Aquarius. Thank you so much for reading this and I’m really sorry it’s so long. :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (6 February 2011):
Xx-Scorpio-xX is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you :)
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (4 February 2011):
I would recommend you to talk with him and tell him how you feel. Including that you think that asking him to quit his friends is selfish.
May be he can start paying more attention to you. So you don't feel left alone. Without needing to end his friendships.
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