A
female
age
30-35,
*manda05x
writes:this is gonna be long sorry. but i gotta explain the whole story. in 2005 i got with this guy, everything was great until last year around valentines day, he started drifting off. well around march we split up. it was horrible breakup i hit him. but we worked things out and last xmas we got back together, now 8 months later. he's talking on this boost hookt thing, and it says he's seeking both (male and female) and i found messages in his inbox on this, from a guy asking him, if he was coming over and then there were sexual messages from the same guy. now im stressing out again, it 3am and i cant sleep. i dont know what to do, i dont know how to confront him about this. i love him and i dont want to loose him again. i need help fast what should i do?
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female
reader, amanda05x +, writes (28 August 2009):
amanda05x is verified as being by the original poster of the question Okay, so I ended up confronting him on this, that exact night. He said that him and a guy he works with were just screwing with people. Which okay, I can see him doing that. But I believe him, why, because he's not an affectionate person and when he wraps his whole body around me and starts crying, and telling me that he will never loose me again, and that he doesn't want to go through what we went through the last time. I believe him, I made one of those profile things, that night, and he hasn't been on it since then.
A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (27 August 2009):
Ask him. Calmly about it. And watch him closely to see if he is telling you the truth. Realize that you may hear something you don't want to hear or he may attempt to avoid it. But if you can tell him that it is important to you to know what is going on and why. I was faced with a similar situation and I tried to ask but did so in an abstract way embarrassed to hurt him. In the end, we broke up and it is unclear why I think he was doing things he shouldn't of but he it seems was not in a relationship with a man yet either. Basically the feelings of hurt and betrayal broke us up because we didn't communicate them. I was so hurt and angry I also know partially it was my guy's fault he avoided it. But now I am having a difficult time without closure. Basically we broke up because I was upset he knew that he had hurt me but it was never discussed. Such an abstract way to end a close connection. I believe he went on to experiment with men when I see him he is always friendly and cares for me. He isn't sad though in fact he says " he has always been honest with me" Actually it is easy to say that when you never admit to doing anything wrong! LOL In his head we broke up because I was unhappy the fact that his actions with men were making me confused doesn't even come into it ! I suspect that he is also relived not to have to say I broke up with my close girlfriend to mess around with men. Although I don't know that for certain and so am left with 'what if's" what if we had spoken? What if I was wrong? I recently tried to speak to him about it and he said "oh..its me... I'm a mess and things have changed your such a dear.... (ugh) SO my advice is to insist on discussing this and hopefully he does so that you will know your fears are baseless or you will know exactly what has or is occurring and can make your decisions based on facts rather than guessing. You have the right to know what is going on in your relationship (and browsing those sites is impacting your relationship). He also should be made to explain his feelings and intentions . It will be good for both of you.
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