| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 21 years old, and I'm in a relationship that sort of popped up unexpectedly. I moved a few months back and began dating my roommate. We really hit it off, the first night we met I knew something great was about to happen, and after a few years of near hell, I finally felt good. That wore off soon after. Not because she's changed, but because I'm not very trusting or secure in our relationship. She let me know she had been with a coworker in the past, and everytime she goes to work I worry about what could happen. I tend to silence myself, and suffer inside rather than lash out. I feel like I can't change my mindset when it comes to fully trusting anyone. I want to be able to see her off, and feel secure instead of feeling numb. I'm not ugly, and I'm not 'HOT', I'm just me. Usually what people see in me inside and out is far from what I perceive myself to be. I'm assuming some of the reason why I feel so bad is because I'm too hard on myself. I guess I'm sort of overwhelmed with emotions that I never express. I'm afraid if I don't find a way to cope with both mine, and my girlfriends past, then I'll lose her. I don't want to let these insecurities and trust issues ruin my days anymore, and I need help finding a way to cope.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Hi
Step 1: the past is the past for a reason, but you have some unresolved feelings that you need to face. She told you she has been with a co worker, if there was something going on now then she wouldn't have told you that. Relax and just look back to a time that you were happy and you will get there again I promise.
Step 2: speak to her, tell her how insecure you feel so she knows about it. Tell her that you need to get it sorted out because it's not fair on her or you.
Step 3: just relax your brain and stop thinking about it. If someone has hurt you in the past it's not her fault don't take it out on her. If she has done anything wrong then break up as its not fair on either of u.
Good luck pet x
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