A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i asked for advice about 12 days ago, concerning a meeting with my boss and how my work was affecting my health. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-work-is-damaging-my-health.htmlIntially I was really pleased about my meeting. He really listened to what I had to say and he said he would discuss things with the managers, and get back to me. Now I know it is only a week ago since this meeting, and I know it is to much to expect instant results, but I am now suspecting that he hasn't done anything at all and has just ignored my concerns.I typed them all out, so I wouldnt have to try and remember them when I got to the meeting and instead of reading them out to him, I made him a copy and another for his partner and let him read it. I was really encouraged when he seemed to understand everything. But now I feel I have just been fobbed off with words, even though he did say he would write out a reply letter as to what he has done.But so far there is no evidence of a letter, when I walked into the office the other day he completely blanked me, never caught my eye or anything.Now I know he is a busy man and a mere minion like me might not be important, but it has really annoyed me. It took a lot of time and effort and a bit of bravery on my part and I feel more inadequate than I usually do, because I am a shy person and never stand up for myself.Even the managers who I avoided to go straight to the boss are now giving me more work than ever, its as though i am being persecuted for making a stand. They have been sarcastic and short with me, which doesn't bother me really, although one manager can really get to me.Now i want to be an avenging angel and go back into that office on my own terms and demand to speak to his partner, and see if she carries any weight. But I know I will just stutter my way through that and writing another essay will probably go where I suspect the other has gone. My parents want me to leave, others I speak to say they have been unprofessional, but I have decided instead to go and see my doctor and get a sick note. I warned them in the copy I gave that it was affecting my health and it has. I have had sleepless nights and then if not that, I sleep at silly times of the day. I have become bad tempered, paranoid, irrational, stressed, but i won't say depressed, because i am not, i can still laugh, if i lost my sense of humour, i'd definately be a lost case :) and though I haven't made any mistakes at work, one absence of mindand I could. If the doctor gave me a sicknote it would give me time to get a better sleep and enable me to think about my future rationally. I guess why I am writing this is to get an unbiased opinion on what I should do. I don't want to leave, I love my job, I love working with the people I do, because I have known them for a while now, but if push comes to shove, i will have to leave, my health is more important than money.I hope i haven't made you fall asleep, i didn't think i'd be writing so much. Your help would be much appreciated.Thanks.AH
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at work, depressed, money, my boss, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gio  +, writes (28 October 2008):
Hi AH,
It is difficult to be in an environment where we don't feel accepted, and I personally think you have been brave to put up with the situation and to confront your boss. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to his female partner, and explain the situation boldly to her. If this doesn't work, I am sure that your health is more important than to be in a place where you spend most of your days and where you are not really happy. And... DONT LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR! :)
Best of luck
Gio
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