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I don't want to hurt this guy but I don't want to date him. How do I let him down gently?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

HI :)

Well basically I just wanted to know how to let a guy down gently and tell him that you're not interested in him. So I am in a band and one of the members 'really likes me' and wants to ask me out, I mean don't get me wrong he's a lovely guy but I don't like him that way and dont want to hurt him. He's gonna ask me out and I have to no idea what to say to him that will let him know that I don't like him that way without hurting his feelings. I have no experience in this area and don't want to make things awkward between us, I am really scared about handling this. Any help of advice is much appreciated. Thank you :)

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (23 October 2012):

Aunty Susie agony auntIf he asks you out, just say 'thank you very much, I'm flattered, but I'd rather not.' Simple and no room for any misunderstandings. The safest way to go. If he really likes you, he will be upset that you turned him down, that is just unfortunate for him, and that is the way life goes sometimes. Don't think about it too, it may never happen.

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A female reader, MissTellAll United States +, writes (23 October 2012):

MissTellAll agony auntWhenever he brings it up to you just say that you aren't interested in him in that way. From that point forward, don't treat him any differently than if it had every happened *except* avoid physical contact. Physical contact, even plutonic, messes with guys' heads and the best thing to do is make it minimal. Be honest, polite, and act like nothing has changed. He may or may not decide that he doesn't want to talk so much anymore and you should accept that, but make it clear that you don't want it changing the band dynamic. A band is work and you should be professional about it, as should he.

Best of luck!

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A female reader, Btrfliz1713 United States +, writes (23 October 2012):

Btrfliz1713 agony auntBe honest. Tell him that he's a great guy but he's just not your type.

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