A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Two weeks ago i went on a date with a guy i knew on MSN for one and a half years. I'd blocked him for a year because i was not sure about him, but six months ago i unblocked him and we found we had a lot in common. So we became friendlier, then, i agreed to go on a date with him. We met in town and had a very good time, and when he asked if i was interested in meeting again, i said yes. Unfortunately last week we went on our second date and i am afraid, that although we did get on very well the attraction i had the first week had all but gone.Now he texts me every day, and tries to get me to chat on msn, but i feel he is starting to be a little pushy. Maybe its just me, but i always seem to get bored of men quite easily. They interest me just for a while, then thats it. I am writing here for advice on how to break it to him, that i prefer him as a friend than a potential boyfriend. I don't intentionally like to hurt people's feelings but friends have accused me sometimes of telling it like it is, if i start geting bored. So i want to be kinder to him. How can i phrase it, so that he knows, it really is me and not him?
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Just give it to him straight. Say that you had a good time on your dates, but you're just not interested in pursuing a relationship with him. Tell him that you were looking for some sort of "spark" and that you just didn't feel it when you dated. It might make him feel better if you let him know this happens often with you and that it's not specific to him.
I wouldn't suggest that you say you want to "keep him as a friend," it'd be better for him if you just let him go completely. You can't really befriend someone who is actively interested in pursuing a relationship with you. There's just too much resentment to make a friendship work. Plus, it's a line that most men dread to begin with. In a man's mind, "I just want us to remain friends" means "I find you to be sexually unappealing."
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