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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19 years old. My problem is I'm interested in women. I'm a Lesbian. I love a girl. I love her so much and she also loves me too. We want to be together and marry. She so nice. She always takes care of me, stay with me when I'm alone. She makes me laugh and happy. I had told my parents about this but they do not agree with me. I think if I had a good grades and be a good girl. I think it is not nothing wrong. I do not know what I should do. Should I choose my happiness or my parents' happiness?
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female
reader, AbsolutlyIsis +, writes (4 August 2005):
It's your life, and your heart.
I am a les too and i understand the acceptance you need from your loved ones.
If you love you parents and they love you, they would accept you for you are.Slowly but surely.
But if they're absoulutly against it, then i'm sorry but you have to really think it through.
Whatever happens, you have a choice and ultimately it's your call.
Think about it.
You choose her, would you be happy?
Love is a strong word.
Remember, this, bein with another person of the same gender, though she may basically know how you feel and think, doesn't mean she won't play you out like any regular guy.
You have to be sure, it's for real and that you both click.
Get to know her more.Take your time, you're still young.
It's too early in life for you to stand at the crossroad of choosing between your partner and your parents.
You MUST show to your parents you're good to fend for yourself.
I think they are scared of so many things.one of which is, 'She doesn't know what she's doing.She's just going through a phase and she'll regret it later"
I think IF this relationship doesnt work out, you parents dun want to see you devasted,unhappy or wading in sorrow.
You should be able to be adult about it if it doesn't work out, get your closure,make peace and maintain your job and not get smashed at a bar,lose your job and cry buckets..
If they see you can take care of yourself, i think, they wouldn't worry so much..
Let me know how it works out..Cheer up, there are alot of parents who acknowledge their children are gay and come to terms with it.Don't believe me?check out Fridae.com..
Hey,we're queer and here.Deal with it!
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (4 August 2005):
Thank you for telling me what a lesbian is ^o).
Anywayz... You are an adult its shouldnt be a problem. Your parents should respect your decision and that you are an adult its less of a problem then if you were in the early years of your teens.
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A
female
reader, zoe +, writes (4 August 2005):
hello... i think you should do what feels right to u,what makes you happy...im sure your parents will come around in time,your a women now and are old enough to make your own decisions and your parents should respect that.
sometimes it takes time for parents to let go,and also to come to terms with something like this but you must do whats right for your the one in this relationship not them. good luck :-)
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A
female
reader, Auntie Ann +, writes (4 August 2005):
Dear Reader,
Give your parent's time. It can be hard to accept when your child 'comes out' for the first time and I would say that their reaction is just shock at this new information. However, you must keep in mind that what you are doing is not wrong and there is no reason for you to have to choose. Tell your parents that just because you are a lesbian does not mean that you will stop loving them any more than being a daughter will stop you loving your partner. This is a difficult issue that many face and very few resolve overnight, however remember time is a great healer and I am positive that given the time your parents WILL come round. Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2005): No Friend, it is your age problem. you must marry boy than girl. there you will find lot of than girl. which you will realise after marriage only.
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (4 August 2005):
What dont your parents agree with? The fact that you are gay or that you are spending too much time with your girlfriend?
Perhaps if they were to meet her and get to know her they woulkd be more accepting of your relationship.
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