A
female
age
26-29,
*[love~struck]]
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months and were so in love with each other. im 14 and he is 15.Now dont judge me or think im a slut cause i really didnt mean to or want to do it. But we had sex and i almost got pregnant.My mom found out and completley freaked out. Im not but it was just scary. I really dont want to do anything for a while. but he keeps wanting to and trying to make me want to. I dont know what to do, because when i push him off and say no, he gets mad or says that i dont love him.Any advice?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mummy to be  +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Sweetie, this is so not the guy for you! He is totally selfish and believe me he doesn't love you like he says he does otherwise he would wait. For example my baby sister (15) is with a 16 year old and she is not ready to go down that path, he has told her that he is with her for her not for sex and he doesn't mind waiting at all!
I think you're being very responsible for waiting before you do it again and i think you should sit your boyfriend down, explain to him that the next time you do it will be when you feel ready, not when he pressures you. If he can't accept that then walk away honey, he truly isn't worth it. God luck with everything : )
A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (19 October 2008):
 Woa woa woa. Don't listen to these little promiscuous rats around here that tell you to lose your virginity at a certain age. Don't give into society's "norms" and set a date to lose it.
You need to have sex when you're emotionally ready and mature enough to handle all the responsibilities to go along with it (pregnancy, STDs, etc.)
And for every person that's a different age. So for the person who said wait to 16, that is incredibly STUPID and irresponsible advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Hon, anyone that pressures you into having sex when you don't want to, does not love you. For example, before my bf and I had sex for the first time, he told me I could say no at any point and it wouldn't matter, he would still want to be with me because he cared about me more than he cared about having sex. Noone thinks you're a slut, they just think you have a little s*** for a bf. He is emotionally manipulating you into feeling guilty about not giving in. It's your body, get mad that he's not listening to you. Another thing. You're fourteen. Wait another two years or so, so that when you want to have sex again, you'll be doing it when your mature and ready. No one likes to hear that their too young for something and we are all trying not to be patronizing but 14 is too young to be having sex or saying the L word.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (18 October 2008):
What is it with young kids emotionally blackmailing each other into having sex. Seriously for a start you both sound too emotionally immature for a sexual relationship, as he is using this "you don't love me" to try and get you to have sex with him. for a start if he really did "love you" then he would respect your wishes. also the fact you had a pregnancy scare just shows you should not be having sex, as you both are obviously not ready for the responsibilties of sex, such as pregnancy. enjoy being a teenager, what's the rush!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): me and my boyfriend were like that at one point. im 14 and hes 16. if you just have sex, and put up with it, he will get the picture your not enjooying it that much and soon not want it as much as your not enjoying it. if you reeally dont want to do that, then say i dont want to and walk out make sure you win!
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A
male
reader, mikey19  +, writes (18 October 2008):
first of all...there is no such thing as 'almost getting pregnant' so you should stop using THAT as an excuse to not do it again. You either got pregnant, or you did not and just by fluke maybe were a little late with your period that month.
Now, with that in mind...is it possible that you are using this 'fake scare of pregnancy' as a way to cover up the fact that you are scared to do it again because you really didnt enjoy it the first time...or have realized that you werent ready??
all of these feelings are extremely normal and you should not feel bad at all.
if it turns out that you just arent ready to do it again, you need to tell him immediately so he make up his mind what he will do. There is no point sticking together if hes just going to keep bugging you about it.
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (18 October 2008):
Men will say anything to get you to open your legs. And I'm a guy, so don't take that with a grain of salt.
You're a bit too young anyway don't you think? Save your first time for some one special and loves you for real (some one who is mature enough to know what real love is, and I'm not telling you to sleep with old men - use good judgement).
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A
female
reader, ggl777 +, writes (18 October 2008):
Wao you two are very young. He shouldn't get mad for a little thing like that. You should talk to him one more time and tell him that you dont want to continue having sex for the moment. If he doesn't understand that you don't want to continue having sex then its best to move on and find someone that will take it slow with you and will respect your desicion. Imagine if you continue and you get pregnant..not only will it change your life for ever but you are young and dont know if you boyfriend is the one you will marry. You are still young and have A FULL LIFE ahead of you..best of luck
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