A
female
age
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*ara5574
writes:Dear Cupid, I've been talking to a man for several months now via phone and email. We went out on our first date and it was wonderful, we had so much in common and everything just seemed to fall into place. He asked me out on a 2nd date and everything seemed to be going well and with passionate kisses, candles, and romantic music it all just seemed to move so fast. We slept together, although I like this man very much I honestly wanted to earn a place in his heart before I did his bed.I guess my question is....if he decides to ask me out again, is there any way to turn back time and just take it slow, or did we really mess us? I'm scared he won't ask me out again and I really don't want to lose his friendship, I want us to get to know each other. Please tell me what to do?I'm a nervous wreck.thank you,Mara Reply to this Question
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reader, mara5574 +, writes (18 October 2008):
mara5574 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, I just want to thank everyone who commented on my question, each and every one had some good advice. He did call me last night and we talked for almost 3 hours...and then before we hung up he asked me out for tonight! He told me that he just felt he knew me so well since we had been talking for so long and he liked me a lot and respected me for who I am and for our friendship and appreciated it very much that I talked to him about how I was feeling. Thanks so much to all of you.
A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (18 October 2008):
 passionate kisses, candles, and romantic music ... obviously it was his plan all along, so HE didn't mess up at all. He got exactly what he wanted.
You need to talk to him and make sure you both want the same out of this relationship. As of right now, you pretty much made yourself look easy, and that opens the possibility that he doesn't view you as "serious girlfriend" material. But I could be wrong, so do what I said and talk to him. If you're lucky, he's a guy like me and isn't a player.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (18 October 2008):
 Every man is different . . . like an island. Some of us are perfectly ok if a new relationship moves rather fast sexually and we can allow the "heart" portion to catch up with the enjoyment part over time. With me, for instance, it takes a good while to win my heart but the sexual attraction is typically on a fast track. Yet myself (and I'm certain many others) will give the relationship and opportunity to grow (if the woman does not attempt to control).
Some other guys, perhaps many based on a high percentage of the postings on this Web site and others, are "players" just seeking a conquest with the intent of moving on. I do not understand it, because a sexual relationship usually improves dramatically with time, but apparently many men are just keeping some kind of score. So . . . if your new man continues to seek your companionship, he may be someone who will allow the romance to bloom while the two of you also satisfy each other. In my opinion, those thing are inseparable and enrich the opportunity of growth.
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A
female
reader, ggl777 +, writes (18 October 2008):
I kinda did the samething only i did oral sex. I had been dating this one guy for a month and went on couple dates. He seemed like he lost interest after i did that because i wouldnt get as much text messages from him or as many calls..its been some days now and i havnt heard from him so if i could go back i wouldnt have done anything without him being my boyfrind first. I guess it depends on the man also. if he really likes you he will continue to persue you and will treat you with respect and continue to be in contact with you..Hope this helped..best of luck
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