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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I've been with her for 4 years already, and I'm 29, and she's 27. She and I love each other really really much. She's mad at me for not making love with her. She thinks she's not beautiful for me. I keep on telling her she's the most beautiful and sweetest girl in the world. I hold her hand, cuddle with her, caress her back, tell her sweet things, kiss her to show her how I feel about her. I just don't want to have sex ever. Sex seems perverted. How can I get her to not be mad at me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Hi babes, what you are feeling is normal for you. There are ton's of people in the world. Some like sex a lot and they need it all the time, some people hate sex and don't want to do it at all, the rest of us fall somewhere in the middle, we like sex sometimes, some less or some more.
You are being unfair to your girlfriend. She wants to have sex and you do not. She can't stay with you, one day she will hate you, one day she will leave you for somebody else. Dose she want kids, she will really hate you if she has wasted 4years and will never have children by you. You think sex is perverted and you don't want to do it. But you need to be honest with her, you need to tell her how you feel. She's starting to dislike herself, she thinks there is something wrong with her. This is not fair, you must be honest and tell her the truth.
You love her and she loves you, maybe there is a solution that will allow you and her to stay together. But you have no right to hide your feelings, by leading her on this way your are behaving like a cheat, you are lying to her. Tell her the truth, tell her you think sex is perverted. There are many people like you, there are also people who have been damaged by sex and relationships and would love to be with somebody like you.
I don't know why you don't want sex, yes you could be damaged and might need some counselling to help you change your mind. But you could also be non-sexual, or A-sexual, there are some people for feel the way that you do. Talk to your girlfriend honestly and if you can't find a suitable compromise, then of course you must let her go. Good luck, blessings to both you and her and may your future bring you both happiness.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Sex isn't perverted. You should go see someone about that as it sounds like you have some kind of issue holding you back.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Hey she is human remember. You might have a damaged view of sex but the normal woman (and man for that matter) are wired to want sex. There probably isn't anything you can say to take away that desire.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Well, to each their own. In your case, I think that you will mostly be alone, but you every right in the free world to live your private life as you wish.
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A
female
reader, Lavendre  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Oh boy dont we need more guys like you in the world. But since we dont know this: Girls do get horny sometimes. She is going to want a sexual relationship. Do you think she is not going to want kids, kids is from sex you know and not all person want to adopt.You need to find a girl who is thinking about sex the same way you do.If you really love her put away your fears or whatever and try sex even once, if you didnt like it tell her why.GOOD LUCK AND KINDA LIKE HOW YOU THINK KINDA!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): To be honest, you should seek professional help. It is natural that she would want a sexual relationship, and if you are not going to seek help on that front you should let her go and find someone that will satisfy her needs.
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 Hmmmm.... OK.... never thought I'd here this....
Oh, sex is fun - it doesn't have to be perverted or nasty - it's a way of showing your love for another human. It's natural.
Tell her WHY you don't want to have sex - or you could just get pissed and have fun. your choice.
My advice is a bit rusty and that i apologies for, but honestly, I never thought I'd see the day...
Jelly
xxx
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