A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone thank you for reading this even if you cant help me.I recently turned 18 and im in a relationship with a 30 year old women. She treats me well and i feel close to her, loved and respected but i still feel like there is something missing. I love her i have loved her since i was 12 but i cant help but feel like she is useing me. She has a very high sex drive and wants sex 2-3 times a day. I cant satisfy her and she gets upset, and paractly jumpes on me when we are alone. Its going to sound a little soppy but i dont want to have sex all the time. Sometimes i just want to hold hands and cuddle is that too much to ask?I live with her and cannot go back to my pairents house, i had a choice and i chose to be with her. Then my pairents threw me out. So right now i do not know what to do. I just feel like something is wrong and she refuses to talk with me about it.Thank you for your thoughts
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright i will talk with my pairents i hope they will let me come back.
Thank you all for your advice
A
male
reader, cactus87  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 i hear your pain. It has taken me years to admit to myself that i was manipulated. For a while i hated myself. I pushed away people who were helping and broke off relations with good people who were helping me. Only to go running back hoping what i had was love. It cuts me up how much i was really trying to hide my anger and bitter feelings that i was duped by the lies, the presents, the cuddles. Because mostly it was just sex until i was exhausted and it ended up making me feel like shit, No one understood, i thought she loved me. But now i am older i know i wasted my time justifying the actions of a sadly sick manipulating woman. I feel so sad at the way i would not listen back then and pushed good people away. I was scared and it took me a long time to realise i was a whole lot more of a man than just my male appendage. For a while i thought that was all i was to a woman.Get into some therapy. If your parents cannot see how much you need therapy then march into social services and ask nicely for a good doctor to help you. You may have to wait for this. Don't go off the rails while you wait. It will be tough finding someone you can trust. But you do need it. Without it i would not have the good life i have now.Say goodbye. And hope this woman gets the help she needs. Otherwise it will destroy you. And you sound like your deserve to get through this and be a survivor like mei wasted my time with a very sicj
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A
female
reader, Pumpkin2 +, writes (11 October 2011):
 This does not sound like a dream relationship to me. We had a teacher at school who did this to a boy and he is really messed up now. He is sad all the time. And it is not fair because he is a nice boy it is just that his parents were not watching and caring like they should have and they trusted this teacher to give him extra tutoring and she wasn't doing that. She was doing other thing to him. And he is a nice boy. BUt it make him sad because she was always wanting to jump him too. And the teacher was favoring him in class and then they got caught kissing at school and all hell broke out because he was only 14 then two years old than you were. And in my school that's illegal. Because she was obsessed with him but when it all went terrible it was horrible. This does not sound like a lady you should be with even if you love her. If you love her as mother then why would you want to have sex with her? and if you loved her as a girl frind when you were 12 why did she not tell you that is illegal and it is unkind to use you like that. Is she your teacher? She could lose her job. But if you were 12 when this started that is not fair to you. If my mother saw something like that happening she would be as mad as hell. Some stupid men might think it is ok but it is not ok to misuse a 12 year old child which is what you were. i bet it has messed up you enjoying girl friends when you only thinkabout this woman all the time. It is not fair to you. Tell your parents you need some help to cope with how sad you will feel. Tell your parents to tell this old woman to leave you alone. I can see you are 18 now but how long before she wants a 12 year old, that is unless she gets some therapy to stop doing this to innocent boys. It is wrong. That teacher is not at her school she is never allowed to teach children again. So let this woman get on with her life and get therapy but you are not responsible for getting her therapy she has to work on that herself and be responsible for her actions that hurt you, even if you do not want to recognise that she hurt you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 you love her?
why do you love her?
what are the specific things you love about her? (don't tell me write the list for yourself) make it as long as you possibly can...
make it on half the side of the paper... draw a line down the middle then on the other half write all the things you are unhappy about...
compare the two.
helps with the conflicts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 October 2011):
I'm thinking getting in touch with your parents to see if you can reconcile and come home is a great plan...
As an older woman with a younger man (he's 13 yrs younger than I am) I do not treat him any differently than I would a man of my own age. That includes respecting his sexual needs and desires.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were toghether since i was 15 she still wont stop but i love her and dont want to lose her. Im confilced
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I think you're right in that she is using you for sex.
When you say you've loved her since you were 12 does this mean you were involved with her then or just admired her from afar until you were of legal age?
My advice is to quietly contact your parents and feel them out about a reconciliation (which would include you moving back home). If they are, then pack your bags. If they're not and you're relying on this unstable woman to put a roof over your head then start secretly getting your ducks in a row until you're able to support yourself.
If you were involved with her before you were of legal age and you have proof, then you may be able to use that to yuor advantage if she becomes overbearing and beligerent.
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