A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dont know what to do about my boyfriend.He is 14 and smokes about 15 cigarettes a day. His dad is an alcholic and beats him reguarly. Every time I see him he has more bruises. He has also tried to commit suicide by taking overdoses. But him and his father are getting counselling an reforming their lives. The thing is, I dont want to go out with him any more, as another boy who I have secretly liked for ages has asked me out. But I am too afraid to dump my boyfriend because I'm scared he might try to kill himslef again, or get really aggresive towards me.I really dont want to go out with him any more.Please Help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah sorry about that im not 24-26!
Im 14 too.
And thanks so much for your help so far x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah sorry about that im not 24-26!
Im 14 too.
And thanks so much for your help so far x
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 You are not his caretaker. You are his gf. If you are scared about him getting aggressive, break-up over the phone. I know, pretty shoddy thing to do, but why risk getting hurt? He will be fine, but you could call him sometimes to make sure that he is okay.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Well either you've made an age mix up or you're seriously warped.
I'll assume it's the first.
Dazzerg is right, but some things I would add is that you cannot be responsible for his or his fathers actions; as terrible as they are. You don't want him to commit suicide obviously; but that shouldn't mean that you tie yourself to him because you're scared of what he might do; either to himself or to you.
You say he and his father are both getting counselling, so hopefully the counsellor is aware of what is happening in his family and with his suicide attempts.
Maybe ask him how his counselling sessions are going if you don't want to leave him straight away. Ask him if the counsellor is aware of what is going on in his family. If the counsellor does know, then you should have no qualms about leaving him.
But even if the counsellor doesn't know, personally I don't think you should have to worry about what he may do.
At the end of the day, you're number 1. You're in a relationship where you're not happy with a person who you don't want to go out with.
For me, that is where you involvement ends.
Take care
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (17 September 2008):
 I'm assuming your age isnt accurate here. Errr its tricky, it's going to hit him hard no matter how you do it; how gentle you are etc etc. One tip might be try and drop hints to mutual friends and create a support network that will be there for him when you finally do break the news. If you cant do that before you do then do it after. I'd try and be as gentle and positive in what you say when you do do it but be firm. I'd probably leave the other boy out of it for now and i'd definatly keep that under the radar for a few months at least, you might even want to delay going out with him for a bit because that will give him a potential target. From what you say he's far more likely to be self destructive than target another though.
Good luck :)
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