A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a man for one year following the break up of my only other long term relationship. We don’t see each other every week because we live some distance apart. I am wondering how much I should concern myself with what, to me, is actually his business. He has two kids from his previous marriage and fights a lot with the ex wife about maintenance and the kids behaviour. She got very angry with him for apparently drinking too much in front of the children. There was a huge fight between them. I don’t think he has seen his kids since that fight. Well to get to the point, he told me he would have the kids at the weekend but when I called I couldn’t hear them in the background – you can usually hear them laughing and shouting – and when I said I’d like to say hi he said to leave them alone they’re busy, which he has never ever done before. I called twice and it sounded as if they were not there, and he wouldn’t let me talk to them although usually I chat to them to because we get along fine.Is it that he has been drinking too much, and that in front of his kids, to the point that the ex has arranged some sort of supervised or limited access only? If it is that then that speaks to me about the type of person he is, although his custody arrangements are not my business. I don’t want to be involved with someone who behaves this way, but I don’t know how to find out what’s going on without seeming like I’m interfering or being nosy or accusing him of something he may not have done. I’ve never been involved with anyone with kids and an ex wife so I’m not sure how to handle it.
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male
reader, freeme +, writes (5 June 2011):
Run away from this situation, and don't look book. You don't need to 'figure out' what's going on. You've already presented enough information in your post to make the right decision.
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