A
male
age
30-35,
*ockshredder
writes:It is long but it is interesting. Please give me 5 minutes.It is the 6th month in USA. I guess I have done good in the new country. Have a job, doing course work, have one best friend and know how to communicate effectively with people as I am in retail. One can say I have done good as a learner. Have my driver's licence and a car as well. Sounds like I am writing a resume haha. No but here is the problem.A dire need of an honest loving and devoted partner. I am not the kind of guy that likes to go to clubs and get laid with any random drunk girl. I am the guy who wants just one girl no matter where she comes from and who she is. She will be the only one unless she dumps me cause I can never dump for the life of me.I have quite some positive attributes in me. I just lost my 16 years old nephew a weak ago who committed suicide but I have been able to hold myself together. He was my darling and very close to me but I accepted the reality with a smile and let him go. I have tried and given everyone strength.The only thing in my life that puts me down and breaks my heart the most is rejection. I have faced that quite a few times. At 15, by a family friend girl who just rejected me at that time and never ever talked to me after that. And she married someone infront of my eyes a few years later. That incident gave myself an image of being ugly.After 3 years of pain, at my uni, I fell again. She was my classfellow. A relation of roller coaster rides for 4 years in which the 1st 2 years she kept flirting with other guys, 3rd year of having sex with me and calling me a rapist afterwards and 4th year literally beating me and cursing me. At the end of 4th, I came to USA and she cried like a desperate bitch as if her world had ended and after 10 days of my coming to USA, she dumped me. And she showed me a picture with her new guy who happened to be an enemy of me and her.This incident gave me demons. I became a joke in my own world. I tried my hardest to move on, found a job, started IT certifications and never looked back. I THINK I made it in 6 months.Last weak, I saw a beautiful innocent face girl in the break room of Target where I work. She was there for an interview. I don't know what happened. My feelings to fall in love came back. I see beautiful girls everyday who come to shop but to be honest I never felt this for anyone. My heart pounded and couldn't stop myself and started talking to her. Gave her best wishes for the interview. I think my wishes got true and I saw her yesterday at the cashier register.Feelings got doubled. Through out my shift I peeked at her, she is so beautiful. She is white and I am a Pakistani asian. Yeah a curse that will live with me till I die. A pakistani :(But no one in the world hates Pakistan more than myself. I wish she doesn't step back for my being Pakistani. I don't know if she has a boyfriend. The innocence of her face has made me crazy. I again talked to her. I bought something just to go to her register. And the queue was empty except me so I got the chance to talk to her for 5 minutes. I told her about myself, asked her about herself and cracked jokes about the store. She kind of opened up with me and said her legs are hurting cause it is her 1st day at job haha. That was about it. She told me her name and I told mine.Tell me what to do next. I have given my heart a second chance after caging all my demons. I don't want to get hurt again cause it will be the last time. I will close my heart after another beating. Please guide me as how to move with it and how to track if she has a boyfriend and when to ask her out. Thankyou so much for reading. I really appreciate her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 hello there, for the record your ex's are bitches! and a lot or C*ap has happened in your life. you seem genuine so im very sorry for what has happened. ok first be straight up. say have you got a bf. and if she says no then ask for her number and meet her somewhere. if she has got a bf then remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Good luck mate. keep us informed please. :)
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (12 August 2011):
 I'm sorry that you've been hurt and rejected so often in the past. But understand...
1. It's a numbers game. The more women you meet and approach the closer you are to finding love. When I use to sell cologne at a mall some years back, my boss told me that out of 100 people I spray (or that pass me) no more than ten will buy. And after the first 50, I should start to get one customer. ONE! But that gave me motivation, even through the midst of rejection, to keep selling until I did get that one customer. And then one customer turned to two, two- ten, etc. Not only did my sales increase, but my confidence, and selling ability as well. So the moral of the story is... even if you don't land that beauty in the store, keep searching- and understand that there's more fish in the sea that's willing to give you a chance.
And..
2. You should NEVER give up hope. You seem like a good guy. Don't close your heart after a rejection,bad date, or failed relationship. Because all the women that you've met could've lead you up to and prepared you for ms. right. What you go through is a test on your character and faith. If you had many disappointments when it comes to relationships, that would just make you appreciate the right relationship MORE.
In regards to talking to the girl at the store...
I would say #1 be yourself (she's just going to see it at some point anyway if you two get serious)#2 Learn how to read body language. Read articles on the subject so you could get a better assessment if she's into you or not. #3. check your appearance. Be aware of how you dress and smell. And #4. Be direct. Don't use any pick-up lines. Just tell her that you really do think she's fascinating and you would really like to take her out. If she tells you she has a boyfriend, then tell her he's lucky man and just move on. If not, then work on getting her number and setting up a date.
Hope this helps! :^)
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