A
female
age
30-35,
*issxmexagainx
writes:Hey I sort of have a problem I think. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Apparently you can't have a personality disorder without being bipolar, but you can be bipolar without a personality disorder.I was on medication for a few years but I went off of it last year about this time. It made me feel like I wasn't in control of my emotions and actions, like I was living inside someone else, looking out. When it got to be around september or october I started to get really depressed, even suicidal sometimes. It got worse as time went on. But now The last few days have been really hot and sunny and I feel great. I didn't even realize how depressed I actually was until I started to feel this good. I assume it's because of the lack of serotonin during the cold months. But I'm afraid that I'll start to get depressed again if the weather changes [as it's supposed to at the end of the week]. I used to have a doctor who advised me to go tanning when the weather was bad, as you can get serotonin that way, but I am 7 months pregnant so I can't do that. I don't want to take medications for this but I feel like I may have to. I'm just not sure how they would affect the baby.what should I do?ps- with every medication I had taken, I never really felt happy or sad. I felt nothing and I hate not being able to feel.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 April 2009):
Glad to hear.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (28 April 2009):
kissxmexagainx is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so much. I think I can cope with it now.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 April 2009):
Well day light bulbs are only a few quid and candles are very cheap so give them a go.
This this is part of you, and you are in control. Not the other way round.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (27 April 2009):
kissxmexagainx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I should probably have added that money is an issue right now. so I'm not sure what I can afford. I am trying to stay positive. I spent 4 hours out in the sun, so I feel great now. I'm just worried about when it gets cold.. I don't want to do anything stupid..
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 April 2009):
The big problem with the medicines to stop bi-polar is that instead of highs and lows you get a straight boring ride through life.
It allows you to function and fix the out side things that are causing depression and then go back to being you rather than a boring functioning life form.
I've had a few friends like you who have said they'd rather accept and embrace their mentalness than live as a robot.
I know you can't go to tanning salons but that is not the only way to get some sunshine in your life. You can get daylight bulbs from craft shops, you can fit lots of lamps and candle holders in your house so you have brightness in that HORRIBLE grey time of winter afternoons.
Use music and movement to spur you on. Put sunshiney photos and posters of cool places up.
When ever it IS sunny in winter make sure you go out on a LONG walk and enjoy it.
Most of all, you have to KNOW when you are having a low day and keep in mind that all the bad thoughts and worries AREN'T real. They are there but they are not facts, they are bad chemicals and they are lying. It sometimes helps to think of them as bad voices rather than your own thoughts.
You can get through this. There are lots of bi-polar people out there who accept it as part of their personality and just make the best of everything.
I know it's scary but just know that it will never be able to hurt you, it's just a dream that you have while awake at the end of it all.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Google "seasonal adjustment disorder" if you don't already know about it. I suffer from this too and have found that taking vitamin D drops (or pills) really helps.
You can also buy sun lamps etc for this very thing; sitting in front of it simulates getting sunlight. Also, why can't you suntan when you are pregnant? Go for it!
I would suggest that you try some therapy by itself or with medication again. Medication is good but the results are always better when combined with therapy. Also, make sure you are not drinking too much (you probably aren't because of the baby), or having too much coffee. Get lots of omega 3 and 6 in your diet, and make sure you are doing some kind of exercise every day. Having a light jog is enough.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Krystelle +, writes (27 April 2009):
I'm not quite sure on what you can and can't do when pregnant, but I do know that my aunt has something like you have. She gets very depressed during the colder months. She has invested in UV stands, and if she's feeling a bit upset she sits in front of them for a while. Maybe see if you can try that out?
Hope it goes okay :)
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