A
female
age
30-35,
*eithsBella
writes:I recently met this guy at my school about a month ago. He is a year older than me. I first found out about him through my parents - he is their co op student this semester and my mom was always asking if i knew him. i looked him up in my yearbook and didnt know him, but started seeing him around. so i finally introduced myself, which was hard because im somewhat shy. we talked a little bit in the halls after that. two weeks ago i saw him in the library and his friend kept looking over at me and smiling at the guy whenever i walked by. so last week i gave him a note with my cell number and we've been texting for a week or two now i suppose. my dad told me that the guy was talking to an employee about me last week , and when my mom came in to the shop, the same employee told him to say hi mom. and he did haha. i thought it was kinda cute. so everything was going great. he is really shy, but we texted for a few days. but about two nights ago, my friend mentioned something about his girlfriend ... turns out he has been dating her since last weekend, about the same time that i gave him that note! so i texted him during class two days ago asking him to meet me in the hall. i was in a rush, but i said to him , you dont know how embarassed i am to have given you that note, and for all the teasing my parents and the employees do ... all the while you have a girlfriend. and he says, yeah im sorry. i guess i kinda lead you on. we left it at that because i had to get to class. but then yesterday i was texting him during class asking him to get out for a bit. we were joking around and everything , it seemed so perfect . so finally i got to see him and i gave him another note. this one basically said, was i stupid to think that you felt something back ? know that i do like you but i wont wait forever ... blah blah blah. it was about a page long. so i texted him after school saying , that took alot out of me and id at least hope that you would have something to say. and he responded with sorry im at a movie... he was with his girlfriend. but about two hours later he texts me saying, hey i read your note and i was touched it was very deep but i have a girlfriend sorry honestly. i would go out with you if i didnt have a girlfriend xoxo please text back. and i said, what do you want me to say to that. and he said, just say something, anything. i said, i have to turn my phone off for a few hours, can we talk monday ? and he said yeah sure. ps im really sorry we couldnt have talked about this in person.so i dont know what to do. she is two years younger than him. i dont want to force him to break up with her, and i will most definately not be involved with him while he is still dating her.what to do???
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female
reader, cmb16  +, writes (31 May 2008):
Say - "I'm not going to wait around for you, but I'd like it if we could be friends."
Meet other guys, hang out with them, and maybe even date them. He sounds like a nice guy who would be a good friend so let him be. By dating other guys, he will see how he missed out on such a good thing and he might get jealous. If they break up, tell him that you hope it wasn't because of you. It would be tricky b/c of the gf. I say stay friends and if anything happens, don't let it while they are still dating.
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