A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my on and off boyfriend for two years just left for basic training for the national guard. Our relationship has been quite rocky these past years. We broke up a few months before he left, but got back together a month before he had to leave. That last month he was so sweet and more nice to me than he's been. Saying goodbye was so hard. He comes back in a few months, but I'm wondering from people with past experiences, will he change a lot? Does absence really make the heart grow fonder or is he going to realize he doesn't want to be with me? Before we got back together we were talking as friends and he told me not to wait for him. He said if while he was gone a guy asked me on a date, that I should go and not wait for him. But we never talked about our relationship status again, and when he was preparing to leave he took pictures of me and told me he loved me and that he was going to miss me so much. I guess I'm just wondering if boyfriends still remain boyfriends after boot camp? Is he going to change for the worst?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 June 2008):
Absence can do one of 2 things - it can make you realise you are completely in love and can't look at another guy, or it can make you realise that after 2 weeks apart you are not missing them as much as just missing having a boyfriend and you start looking around.
Basic training is very hard and people do change while on it. You might like the change you might not. It's mostly about confidence and discipline. He'll come back more of a man than a boy that's for sure.
I think he made you single to make things easier for you both, not because he wanted to split up.
I had only been with my boyfriend a few months when he went off to Iraq for 6 months and he told me that if I wanted to split up that he'd rather just get it over with asap, as most of his ex's had cheated on him when he'd been away and that was worse.
The best advice is just to take it a week at a time and see how you feel. Being apart is very hard but if your relationship is really meant to be then you will get through it and know you are really serious about each other.
Good Luck!! xx
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