A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok here goes. After being apart for just over 12 months my ex and I are starting to get close again. We didn't break up because we didn't love each other but over a silly fight that escalated out of hand. We never really resolved the issue and we have just spent the past 12 months sniping at each other.We have a little boy together and I felt a complete failure that we couldn't manage to bring him up together but maybe now there is a chance that we could.I do still love my ex, we were together for 7 years and I just spent the past 12 months convincing myself that I had no feelings left for him. Now I can't believe how close I came to losing him forever and am so sure of my feelings now that I can't imagine ever being without him.I do feel that its wrong to stick together because of your children but in my case I love my ex and want to be with him but I can not also fail to see the benefits this will provide for our son. Is it wrong of me to feel that not only am I doing this for myself but also for our son or is this perfectly reasonable. I don't want to feel like I am using him as a form of blackmail in any way.I strongly believe in the family unit as a whole and I think that if a child has the chance of having parents who love each being together with their child then they should go for it.
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female
reader, Carina  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 Marriage is hard work. Nobody would dispute that. We all have times when who we live with gets on our nerves and we have rows. Actually, it's quite healthy to have rows, as long as it makes you both communicate how you REALLY feel.
The point is that you love this man. If that's true then you shouldn't be worrying about 'blackmailing' him with your son. Your child is part of you and part of your emotions, so of course you'll be concerned about your son's part in this.
My advice is to relax and concentrate on whether YOU are happy to be back with your ex. If you're happy and you love being with him then your son will benefit from that. However, if you're miserable and don't want to be with your ex, then your son will pick up on those feelings and be unhappy too. Talk to your ex about your feelings. I bet he'll be very understanding. Good luck!
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