A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have this kind of awkward problem. my mate's older brother (Jake) is friends with this guy (Brandon), and Brandon told Jake he liked me. Jake then went to tell my mate, (Alison). So Alison thinks it would be great if him and i went out, but i dont even know the lad! hes not my type, at all. and i really dont want to go out with him, plus hes a couple years older than me. i wish they'd both leave me alone, because its awkward and all. and know i have to go around avoiding him and such, and the more theyre all like oh hes great for you, the more i hate him. whenever i see him, i groan and think how much i would never want to go out with him. ever! theres not even a chance. i dont know what to do. he wants to call me and asked for my number from Alison and now im screening my calls. i realllllly just wants this to go away. 88 days till he graduates.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Stop stressing. When he calls tell him "Thankyou, I'm very flattered but I don't want a relationship right now" He can't force you to go out with him and neither can your brother or Alison so chill out!!
CD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): if alison is a "TRUE" friend, you should be able to ask her not to give him your number! and she should respect that!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): Hello Baby Girl, I qiut understand your feeling with that guy and I also want to let you know that guy is deeply in love with you.. so the more you hate him to more him love u while the more he love you the more you hate him.. you just dont even want to see him again and he wants to always be around u... cox he seeing you means alot to him and the truth is that it happens the ways its to you now and the only way to avoid this is seeing him and talk to him on how you really feel about him cox he will not kill you even you say no to him.. but try and let this guy know directly that you are not really interested in any relationship with him... although even when you say this to him he will still dont want to give out just like that.. but after sometimes he get to stop coming to you and take will still take a little longer from what you expected.
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Hi,
No one can force you to do anything you don't want to. You are always free to say no. Understandably it's not always easy to say no.
The following are not my words but those of Mr. Manners (http://manners.qdnow.com/2006/12/03/just-say-no.aspx) I believe this is the best way of refusing an unwanted invitation.
"One situation where it can be difficult to say no is to an unwanted date. And, you may feel uncomfortable or awkward, but really the most polite thing to do is to give a clear and direct response.
But, remember you don't have to come up with excuses or reasons why you don't want to go out; it's just simply fine to politely decline. For example, you can say something like, "Thank you very much for the invitation, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline." There's nothing rude about that. It's direct. And again, no need to explain your reasons.
If someone presses you for a reason why you are saying no--and this in its own right may be a bit rude--you're then free to again speak gently but honestly and say,"You know, I really appreciate the invitation, and I'm quite flattered, but I'm afraid I'm not interested."
I would also talk to Alison about your feelings.
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