A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I've been with my boyfriend for around 1 year and 4 months, our relationship was great to begin with, I actually felt so happy to find such a nice man. But since the beginning of the year our sex life vanished, he claims he's lost interest in sex before and has nothing to do with me. (I am 21 and he is 26) I really feel as if he's completely lost interest in me altogether now, first it was the sex, then he just stopped being as talkative with me, he's always on his phone, he lives on that thing, and the past few months he has started inviting his friends out along with us, to the cinema, out to dinner, a daytrip.. you get the point, I do get on well with his friends however but still, it's strange. Recently a girl at our work came in and was promoting something for our shop, he told me everyone fancied her.. then I saw through facebook that they became friends (usual as he's all making new girl friends on there). I'm never nosey but this day I thought I'd go through his computer history, usually just looking if he's watched porn (I don't givr a shit if he watches it but just want to see if thats the reason for loss of interest in sex. I came across the facebook history first and saw he had been messaging the girl he met at work, I couldnt see what the messages said but her name and a (1) it came up 4 times then I went down one and saw he had been on porn and typed In exactly what this girl looks like.. I am confused. I have been cheated on in the past with another long term relationship and didnt handle it great, (stopped eating, alcohol, drugs, turned into a maniac lol) but I know my boyfriend would never cheat on me, he hates cheaters as much as I do as he has also been through it all, before everyone starts telling me to ditch him, he does take me out for dinner very often, (always pays) picks me up everyday when hes finished work ordrops me home before he starts ( I dont drive) we are always texting if not together. It's such a tricky situation and I do not want to comfront him about losing interest because he'll just say I'm being silly. Sorry for the essay, I hope someone can help me out thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2014): First of all, you have no way of knowing if he'd cheat or not. You can only trust him if he's trustworthy and hope for the best. Most of the time when people get cheated on they're in shock. They don't usually say"I'm not surprised." After all, if you think they'll cheat on you, you shouldn't be with them. Anyways, it doesn't sound like you should worry too much since you trust him. I can tell you that I wouldn't be too happy if I was in your situation, but that doesn't mean he's being inappropriate. And there's never a reason to confront someone for losing interest. If you suspect they are losing interest you should do something about it. Go on more fun dates. Take classes together. Do more special things. Try née things in the bedroom. All but the most boring or most compatible people will lose interest if the relationship isn't cultivated.
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