A
female
age
41-50,
*phinx1981
writes:I met a guy 5 months ago in a bar we got on really well and i ended up taking him back to my place and having sex with him. We then saw each other again 2 days later and had a great time together. But when he went back home he sent me a text saying that even though he liked me he couldnt do a long distance relationship (60 miles away) and that he didnt want a relationship. Because i liked him i replied saying if he just wanted a "sex buddy" then he should of just said as thats all i was after. So we decided to start meeting up every 4 weeks, (with some phone and txt contact inbetween). Even though when we meet up we have a great time together i have fallen for him more and more each time. He thinks all i want is a sex buddy and he doesnt know i have fallen for him. I have met his friends and when we met last time he dropped in conversation...that "when" we get married, which really confuses me. He is only 21 and im 28 with two children. When i used to text him he replied days later or sometimes i have had to text him again for him to reply. Its always me that kind of mentions meeting up again and i always make 100% effort when we do meet. But im confused as im not sure what he wants. He really thinks that all i want is no strings sex and doesnt have a clue that i have fell for him. I dont want to carry on like this so do i tell him how i feel or just ignore any contact that he makes in future. Thank you.
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 He's only interested in sex. That's all it's going to be, because of your decision to tell him that's all you wanted too. It amazes me how men like him will say no to a long distance relationship, but are willing to meet up if it means they'll get laid. This arrangement is obviously convenient for him, which means he's not going to put more effort into it, simply because he doesn't have to. You're the one making sure you keep in touch, you're the one initiating conversations and just about everything else, it seems. All he has to do is show up. Don't bother telling him how you feel, he can't even be bothered to stay in touch wth you without being prompted. That alone should tell you how he really feels.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 July 2010):
Talk to him about how you feel. He may well feel the same way. But there's only one way to be sure and that's to talk to him. The worst is that you find out he's not interested, which will give you the chance to move on. The best is that is is interested, which will give you the chance to get closer. You need to ask him where this is going. Please don't just ignore him though, as he's done nothing to deserve that. Talk to him first, then make a decision afterwards.
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