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female
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*onfuddled
writes: my boyfriend never usually wants to go to my house... he always wants to hang at his house, and he never usually wants to go out... only sometimes... we get into really bad arguements sometimes and he justs laughs at me or we call each other names. Rarely we get physical but he never actual punches me.. but I really love him... and we're having a hard time... he wants quite a bit of space... i don't understand why he would want sooo much space... we argue quite a bit about stupid things... and I get jealous of girls sometimes... and i'm trying really hard to get over it and he's not even trying to help me... he tells me to shut up and then i cry, i wish he would help me with it... he acts pretty rude sometimes and he can get pretty mean to me, name wise and by pushing me away...i really love him but i am so confused...i am hurt by him but i couldn't imagine being without him and i know he feels the same way... i'm get pretty down quite often... is there something wrong with me? Is it my fault that he's like this? are we right for eachother? what should i do? I am sooo confused and hurt.. i'm scared to lose him...
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female
reader, Confuddled +, writes (8 May 2006):
Confuddled is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you sooo much for all your advice... i will have a good long talk with him and if he doesn't listen or respect my needs than i will dump him... i love him soo much though its soo hard... we actually just got into a fight and he said he wanted a break... i hyperventalated and had an anxiety attack because i love him so much... but the next day i wrote him a letter expressing my feelings... he told me he cried last night (he's pretty emotional) and when he read my note this morning he cried and looked all over for me... i heard that he was so i went and found him... i cried when i seen him and he almost did too... even in school... i know he loves me and i love him and i think were gonna have to work a lot of problems out...he told me today he wants to marry me and he will always love me...if he does not treat me better i will have to let him go... but it feels like a whole new relationship since we talked about "the break" thing... i'll see how it turns out... you never know what you have until its gone... thank you again so much... if anything else goes wrong i may be back for more advice... if you will help... i'm sorry if i seem sort of stupid for staying with him... but i really don't have it as bad as it could be... he is actually quite loving or maybe i'm just saying this cuz i'm happy were together still... thanks again.. if you have any more advice please feel free to share it with me...
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (6 May 2006):
 Not a good scene trust your insticts don;'t be with someone who doesn't wnat to help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2006): I am having the exact same problem with my boyfriend right now, so I know what you mean. I know what I have to do and that's break up with him. It's not your fault. My advice is to move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2006): I was in and still kinda am in your role, and honey- if he verbally abuses you in any way and he doesnt show that he is willing to care about you and your own good then you need to move on he is obviously not worthy enough if he puts you through so much pain and he doesnt even help or want to help. That is not someone who cares for you. He is only using you- he only wants to you talk about his needs and not yours- in this case your needs are to talk things through and for him to adknowledge that you have feelings etc. So seriously drop him, I was in your situation and I dropped my man and I went on to find someone sooooooo much better who never makes me cry and really cares for me and I actally care for him sooo much more than I did my previous guy. I know its hard thinking " well we cant go on without eachother" but this also isnt an excuse to stay with eachother. You will be so much better off. Its hard to let go, but you are also letting go of unneeded pain and opression, let yourself be cleansed and free and ready for a new start. Learn what you can about his traits and learn from it for the next guy you meet or decide to pursue. Take from each relationship a lesson and use it for a better one. Its all about expieriences.
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female
reader, Sis6372 +, writes (5 May 2006):
I'm in the same spot you are (except we never get physical) so I can't answer your question, but I just wanted you to know your not alone, your boyfriend isn't the only creep in the world, and your not the only one with a broken heart over stuff like this. My friedns just tell me, ignore him and it will bug him. AND THAT WORKS TRUST ME! Its hard though, but my boyfriend always gets a little hurt when I'm not giving him the usual attention I give him. I lay low for a couple days and don't call, then he starts asking me whats wrong and we usually talk it out. He can't handle me not paying attention to him, you might thing it will make him happy and that thats what he wants but trust me, after a couple days it will get easier for you and HARDER for him. and if you think he wouldn't care, thats what I though, but they do.GOOD LUCK!
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