A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im 23 years old. My ex girlfriend dumped me 2-weeks ago and we had been going out for 5 years she says she is not in love with me anymore, but she want to be friends. but i dont think i can do that because if we do be friend i still have feelings for her and love her. i really want her back but i dont think she will change her mind. i keep picturing her with other men or having sex with a other man that she might like but he just wants to f**k her or getting used by other blokes, i need to stop picturein this. how can i stop having this thoughts?how can i stop careing?how can i move on?how can i 4get her?i need help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): I feel your pain. But the truth of the matter is that you have to take care of you first. I can you love someone else if you dont love yourself first. And with her wanting to be "friends" just what do you have to lose having her as a friend. You can actually have a "new" relationship with her that was better than the one before. As for you feeling hurt, its more a matter of pride bro. Just take care of you and go have fun.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): It's normal and understandable to think about your ex being with other people when you have so recently broken up from each other.
Your mind is probably working overtime and it is doubtful that she is out having some mad sex with some guy that is just using her... it's in your imagination.
Part of accepting that your girlfriend will be with other men is part of the process of getting over her.
Those vivid thoughts will start to fade away, you do that by getting on with your life. Notice when you have having an unwanted thought and when you do, do something to take your mind off it. Watch a film, study, go out with friends. Do stuff to make yourself get on with your life. It will get easier.
Another thing is, you'll very quickly stop thinking about these things when you find someone else. That is why people get in to rebound relationships, because it gets you over someone much quicker. Not very good long term, but it does work short term.
Give it time mate, it will get easier. We've all been there before and we'll all be there again, it's natural and part of getting over someone that you care about.
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