A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear all, Im 17 and I have recently began a serious relationship with a lovely guy. We re currently two months in and completely besotted with each other.However I have a problem, I don't think im very good sexually - I've had sexual experience before (in my last relationship which was one year) but both guys I have been with seem to cum instantly during sex but when I'm giving them oral/ handjobs it takes like 15 minutes! I don't know what im doing wrong... is it me or do some guys just take ages to cum? I don't want to be useless at sex when I'm only 17 :( Please help x
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 You do not want your guy to climax "instantly" from penetrative sex, but cumming for you after about 15 minutes of oral is quite normal for experienced males. In my experience receiving blow jobs (more than 45 years), I release somewhat faster when I know that the girl wants and can handle it. You do not at all sound "useless" at sex, as more experience will prove.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (15 March 2011):
 I am certain it is not you, they just have a little more control over holding it back during oral sex. And because they like it so much they want it to last as long as they can. If he takes too long then just say "Hey I'm getting a little tired down here, you have 2 more minutes to cum or I'm quiting. If he cums shortly there after you can be pretty sure he was just holding back on you to make it last longer.
Unfortunately, it not as easy to control when they are inside of you, short of stopping for a minute or 2 before restarting. It also helps to squeeze your hand around the base of his penis (when he feels like he is going to cum). They make a small inexpensive devise called a cockring specifically for this purpose, that he can wear to help him last longer.
Other than that, all I can tell you is that it takes practise and time for them to get better at it. Practise that most of the guys your age haven't developed yet.
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (15 March 2011):
Odds are you were the first girl they boned. Guys are minute men when it comes to actual sex, we masturbate with our hands and sometimes use lotion or do it in the shower so oral and manual are silly stuff for us. Actual sex is a new sensation, and we simply don't know how to handle it at first. Guys busting early is more a problem for them than it is for you, staying power and stamina is an issue placed totally on the male. Its neither party being rubbish at sex, is both parties being new. Have the male ejaculate first have him stimulate you for 15 minutes then go again, he'll last longer.
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