A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ive been in a 5 month relationship with a lad i really love, i met him straight after my fiance who i was with for 4 yrs, i cant get over him so i txt him and sometimes ring him to see if he is ok, i know this is wrong but i still have feelings for him, i know i will never get back with him as he has slept with to many people since we split up, i know i really hurt him when we finished because i met some one 1 week afteri really didnt want to hurt him though, i now live with him, we argue quite alot, i do compere him to my x, i know i shouldnt and its not fair, i do really love the person i am with now, i care for him, sometimes when i feel down i just want to ring my x, i really thought my last relationship would last forever, i lost my viginity to him, and he was their when i lost my dad im only 21, i dont want to be on my own, its really hard sometimes,
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Please understand that getting over your ex will be difficult AND your feelings wont be over in a flash. It'll all be fine down the road. What I am concerned about is that you have gotten yourself into a relationship before you've sorted all of this out. It really isn't fair to your new man either. I definately get what you are saying about him helping you get over your ex, though you should know that rebound relationships rarely survive. That's why I try to have friends (just friends) help me when I am in that situation. I hope you are one of the lucky ones and your new relationship can tolerate getting over an ex. I really do wish you the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to get over my x but its hard, i do love my current boyfriend but he doesnt really understand, i am confused sometimes i feel i have got over him, some nights i will start crying, i know ill will get over him soon, its been 5 months now, i get alot of support off my boyfriend
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I think dearkelja has hit the nail on the head. I would say without doubt that you dont have closure on your previous relationship (and maybe he doesnt given his promiscuity, which is probably a reaction to you bouncing so quick). Without knowing the precise circumstances its hard to comment on why, but you seem to be carrying an awful lot of guilt and a strong feeling of responsibility for the break-up and this is probably the main thing that is stopping you from moving on.
I agree that you need to spend some time on yourself and confronting that guilt if needs be. I cant help wondering if secretly you nurse hopes of getting back together with your ex. Spend some time on yourself, work through the various emotions and then you will be ready to let this new guy into your life and your heart and the feeling of lonliness that you have will fade away. Take care and good luck :)
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (6 November 2007):
My thoughts for if your contact with your ex is wrong. Do you tell your current boyfriend about the contact? If he does not know, would he be upset if you told him. If you are keeping secrets from your current guy, I'd say it is wrong. I can understand the attachment and the concern for your ex's well being but if you still have feelings for him then maybe you never got the closure you needed from the relationship. You also got into a new relationship rather quickly, maybe too quickly to sort things out in your mind. I believe you really do care about your new guy but I really think you should spend some time figuring out what you really want. Take care and best of luck to you.
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