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I don't want to be just friends! It's too hard to pretend nothing happened!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok this is my situation. My ex and i broke up in early june. Im a junior in high school so it so it was summer vacation. She went to school where i went but she lived two hours away so i knew i wouldnt see her the rest of the summer and that was great. I was really heartbroken and i cried for days but towards the end of summer i was becoming ok with everything. But then school came and within the first ten minutes on campus i see her. As soon i see her i turn quickly but my stomache begins ache and im overwhelmed with sadness. The day goes by and i figure i will just learn to avoid her. I remember all her classes were supposed to be different from mine so i thought it was cool. Then my last class comes and i walk in and sit down. I turn to look around and then i see her there waving at me. My head snaps admediately. I feel bad so i turn back around and wave and she laughs.

Then the next day there is a bowling meeting during lunch and we both go. The entire time she acts like she doesnt want to be there. Later that day i apologize for being mean and she says its ok and she still wants to be friends. After that we talked about getting back together but then out of nowhere she says she just wants to be friends. I got mad and said i didnt want to be friends with her because of that. She got really sad even cried in class and a couple days later at bowling when me and another girl were talking.

Eventually i started talking to her again. Then a few days later at homecoming we dance a whole bunch of times and at the end of the night i kiss her. Afterwards she says she had no problem with it but doesnt want to get back together. Now everyday in class she calls me over to talk. We talk all the time and when she wants someone to comfort her she calls me. Im so confused. I dont just want to be friends. Its too hard to pretend nothing happened. What should i do? Should i keep persuing her or just forget it?

View related questions: broke up, get back together, heartbroken, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009):

You sound like a really sweet guy and I can understand why your ex still wants to be friends with you. I am sure she would feel rotten if she thought you were mad with her or hated her.

I think if it is too painful right now for you to continue seeing her and talking to her then you need to admit that and ask her not to talk to you or contact you, that you want to move on completely.

Personally, I think you are too young to be so hung up and serious with one girl. I think you are missing a lot because these are the years where you get to know yourself better and can learn what kind of person you want to have a relationship with, you know what is important to you.

Meeting and dating a variety of girls right now is more fun and less stress.

I think girls this age are pretty fickle, they change their minda a lot.

So you can still wave and smile, but tell her you can't "just be freinds". She needs to be able to understand that and respect your wishes.

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