A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Around seven months ago I met a man and we got along really well. I was in a relationship back then so we were just friends but I could tell that he liked me. While in my relationship, I met up twice with this guy strictly as 'friends' until I broke up with my boyfriend (who was cheating on me). I was devastated and very sad about finding out that my ex was seeing other women behind my back so I turned to this friend for support. One night, we ended up kissing and making out...and after that we spent a few nights together (we were intimate but we didn't have penetrative sex as I wasn't unsure whether it was the right thing to do and he didn't push me). Now I'm finding myself to be very attracted towards him..I like his personality, his looks and would like to date him and sleep with him. I admitted to him that I find him sexually attractive and he told me he thought many times about having sex with me. Despite all of this, he doesn't make a lot of effort to meet up with me and he regularly says that he'll call me to make plans (but then he doesn't). Sometimes he doesn't answer my text messages and I wondered whether he's seeing anyone (he's got a lot of female admirers) but he replied that he doesn't have a girlfriend.If a guy likes you, he'd call and make plans to meet right? So why is this guy telling me that he wants to meet me but then we meet maybe once a month only? He had told me that he doesn't want to get into a relationship at this point in his life as he's got his career to focus on...but when I asked him if he's thinking about me just for sex only he just replied with 'i like you...so anything you like'. we should be meeting soon as we had a very naughty chat a few days ago and I think we'll end up having sex...but I wonder if I'll be making a mistake..I like him and I don't want to end as his sex buddy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): This man has made it clear he doesn't want a steady relationship right now, if you meet up with him your accepting his terms and thats a shallow sex only liaison.Go find somebody who wants to get to know you, who respects you, don't sell yourself short by trying to bait a man with sexy chats cos all you will get is - sex
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 best thing i can say is, 'start as you mean to go on'.
If you allow yourself to be the naughty chat/easily agreed to sex, then yes, that is what you will be the sex buddy/fwb.
He is not acting like a guy who wants a relationship, and he has signalled that he does not need a relationship.
From what i have seen, when a guy sees a girl who he thinks is 'permanent committed relationship' material then he
acts fast, and decisively to woo her. He wants to show her off to the world, take her on dates. He wants to know
everything about her. He wants to see her more often. He does not leave her wondering.
He may be charming and gorgeous and very good in bed.
But he may have a string of other girls he keeps on a string, to pick and choose, as his mind (and body) chooses.
Get out and meet guys and qualify them due to a criteria of attributes you devise, (on the qualities/values/attitudes you would like to be there for a permanent Mr right in your life) to ensure if any new guys do meet your criteria. do not agree to sex too early. Guys who want a relationship would prefer a girl who is more choosy, than a girl who allows too much liberty early on.
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