A
female
age
30-35,
*ovelylozzie
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He has a very productive life and works around a lot of girls. He was caught at the begining of our relationship texting girls innapropriately, and he continues. All we do is argue, but i don't want too throw this away. What can i do to stop being jealous??it's throwing him away. .
View related questions:
jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 He may have stopped the inappropriate texts now, but you're going mad looking at his phone to see if he's going to start up again. Due to his untrustworthiness, you now have trust issues. There's no compromise, either he says he's going to stop sending inappropriate texts and you believe him thus stop checking his phone. You have to trust him that he's going to stop, that's the only way you'll get through this.
A
male
reader, Jpaul2008 +, writes (24 November 2010):
 hello, i have been in similar relationships before. I am a male but i find i am very needy and before i got with my girlfriend i was always a bad flirt, i would try to flirt with every female i could talk to for attention. Not necessarily to sleep with them just for attention. When i got with my girlfriend, i guess everynow and again i fell into that trap and text toehr girls and flirted in bars innappropriotely, i think she must of known and in the past girls have had enough of me doing this or got so jealous they have split up with me. Although i love my girlfriend and would never cheat on her i sometimes need this fulfillment of attention if i do not get it else where. My girlfriend would never fuel this trait and did not ever get jealous, if i said i was in a club and was talking to a girl or she saw pictures of my hugging another female she just laughed and made a joke about how i have a stupid face etc and sincerely too. Over time i do not have this behavior anymore and feel really settled with her. i guess it was just something i needed to get out my system. My advice is just to not be jealous, leave him to it, dont play games with him. Just enjoy the time you have. Sometimes jealously can put ideas in a mans mind and the self fulfilling propech about constantly accusing men of cheating sometimes make them feel it is ok to do so. The less jealous you are the more closer they will be...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): It sounds to me as if he isn't ready to settle down, so whatever it is you do will be the equivalent to water flowing off a duck's back. Don't bother fighting with someone over something they're not ready to do... or don't want to do.
It is better to find someone who's on the same page as you...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): You need to get a new boyfriend that's what you need to do. Him texting girls inappropriately is NOT acceptable.
You should never put up with being cheated on, because that's what it is, just because you're afraid of losing him.
What are you losing really? A guy who treats you with no respect. Not really much of a loss.
...............................
A
female
reader, lovelylozzie +, writes (24 November 2010):
lovelylozzie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, i must add that he stopped and now i keep checking his phone all the time and going mad if i see any texts. . . am i being too controlling? how can we compromise??
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Look you are not a fault here and you should not be happy about him texting other girls! You are not throwing this relationship away - HE is!
Just because you work with memebers of the opposite sex does not mean that you have a right to flirt and send innapropriate texts to them, that shows a lack of respect, love and care for you. I work with mostly men, and would never even dream of flirting or texting them because I love my boyfriend and I would never disrespect him like that.
If you truly love someone and respect them, then you would make sure you do all you can to never hurt them, and you would not need to flirt with other people and text others innapropriately because your partner is all you need and you dont have to find excitment etc from others.
Therefore the only conclusion here is that your boyfriend is a complete jerk who is messing you around big time, he either needs to stop this behaviour right now and never do it again, or get out of your life. I promise you, this is not how relationships should be and it is HIM that is in the wrong here, not you.
You do not need to change at all, how you are feeling is perfectly normal and justified due to his horrible behaviour. Dont put up with this and blame yourself for your problems in the relationship, it is entirely his fault and he needs to either stop it or get out of your life and stop hurting you. Real relationships DO NOT, under any circumstance, involve sending innapropriate texts to others behind your partner's back.
So just remember that this is not how normal, happy relationships should be and if you were with a man that really loved you then this would not be happening. Dont put up with this, you deserve so much better!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
