A
male
age
41-50,
*aul_28
writes:Hi, I am 28 year old virgin, male, from the UK.I have never had any sexual experience with the opposite sex- no girlfriends or sexual relationships.Despite my age, I am a mature student, at University.Is there anything morally wrong with dating a younger female aged 20 or 22 from my University? After all, a 20+ year old is undoubtly an adult, both physically and mentally. Does it make me a pervert if I dated a younger female, say a student from my University- remember, I am 28!!Despite my age, I have little in the way of life experience- I am still a virgin. I do not feel ready to settle down and raise a family- I need a lot of life experience before I am ready for this. I have never ever dated in my entire life. Time goes so quickly- it is like I was 20 yesterday! I feel that my life is rushing past me at a frightening pace- I am 28 and I need get a girlfriend before I am too old.I do not want to be a 40 year old virgin! Who said that younger women like older men- 20-22 year old females at my university have called me a 'pervert' because of my age and that I have asked one of them out on a date! Anyone would think that I am a sex predator- they are really repulsed when thay find out how old I am.They are 20 or 22 years old (adults), yet some of them behave like pre-18 year olds. I am not a 'pervert', and I get quite angry when I am called one simply because I am at university at the age of 28 and see nothing morally wrong with dating a younger female aged 20+I do not feel like I am 'too old' or too mature for nights on the town: bars and nightclubs. I have never had a lively social life, so I guess that I am not tired of the clubbing/bar scene yet, unlike most men of my age. Despite the fact that I want to socialise and spend evenings out on the town, my social life is pretty non-existent.Good advice from readers would be greatly appreciated.
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clubbing, get a girlfriend, older men, still a virgin, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Paul_28 +, writes (20 December 2007):
Paul_28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso, how do I deal with this please
A
male
reader, Paul_28 +, writes (19 December 2007):
Paul_28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, so how do I deal with these immature little brats who call me derogatory names like 'pervert', 'perv', etc? I am offended by these insults- I am no 'perv'! I may be older than many of the other students (I am 28, they are mostly 18-22), but I personally see nothing wrong with dating a younger girl (say, a fellow student) aged 20 or 22, as an example. I am the oldest person in the Halls of Residences (I live on-campus), and the other residents do not talk to me (well, not socially), probably because I am older than them. Surely, there must be some student girls in their early 20's who are mentally mature, do not behave like 15 year olds, and would'nt mind dating an older guy in his late 20's? My sister, who is 20, has a boyfriend aged 30, and as a testiment to her maturity at her young age, she is raising a child. Just because I am in my late 20's, it does not mean that I am 'too old' to go clubbing, or to bars, does it? I do'nt care what society says, "you are this age, so you should be acting like this, or doing this"- we are all in different stages in life and have different personal circumstances. Yes, many men my age have careers and are married with children, but I am not at this stage of life yet. I am still a virgin- at the age of 28!! I just want a relationship, nothing too serious (I am not ready to think of marriage, yet) and see how things go. I need experience with the opposite sex (intimacy,improve my communication and social skills, etc) before I am ready to settle down. Why is it that just because I am 28, people seem to think (or expect me to) that I should be thinking of getting married and settle down with kids? What's the rush? I want to enjoy life before I am ready for commitments and life as a 'family man'. I have not had much of a happy life (family problems, etc) and I need to make up for it.
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A
female
reader, lookingatyou +, writes (16 December 2007):
hey- youre 28- not 68! and i actually for a second, thought it was my friend writing this, so i understand your predicament. Well, i'm 25 and i love dating older guys, and had a 27 year old bf at 17, and a 28 year old bf at 20, so thats never been a problem for me. there is nothing wrong with it at all.
I'm also a mature student and i know that what happens is that youre made to "feel" old in comparison to people who for the most part are very immature. When we're at work, we get used to the fact that people are all ages, but at uni, theyre still in this high school mentality, where the only people they hang around with are their own age, so thats maybe why youre feeling it. but unltimately- theres nothing wrong with a 5 year age gap or whatever! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Hello, i'm a 23 year old girl and I totally don't think you're a pervert for dating 20+ girls when you're 28. Maybe the reason for them to call you that is because they are not mature enough. By the way, i'm 23 year old virgin and i also feel tha my social live is not what it is suppose to be. i'm told i'm pretty but nobody really comes around. Sometimes i think men are not brave enough. So, you need to take chances, and ask girls out. Probably there are girls wishing to go out with you, but they won't tell you, because if a girl makes the first move she would be seen as a hore. . .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): There's nothing "wrong" with dating the 20-year-olds when you're 28. But you will probably find out pretty fast that they do seem immature for you. The girls that age are hot as hell but they still basically act like high school kids until at least 22-24 in my experience.Don't be quite so fast to assume that EVERYONE closer to your own age has already lived the fast life. You're not exactly in the majority out there, but there are many others who have only had little or medium amounts of the young life you're talking about.
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