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female
age
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anonymous
writes:My daughter is 24 years old and lives with me. She has severe depression as well as BPD and anxiety. Her condition has improved greatly, which I contributed to therapy. However, she told me it wasn't just therapy but religion. Apparently, she got in touch with some Quakers and have been attending their meetings for quite some time. They had been virtual and now she wants to attend one in-person and has asked me to join.I am glad she has found something that works but I am concerned because I am a devoted Christian and I am not sure Quaker beliefs align with mine. Especially since my daughter has gotten quite "earthy" lately. She meditates outside everyday and talks about harvesting plants/minerals/herbs and honoring nature. I don't know if this is a Quaker belief or not.I don't want to discourage her and she's very sensitive but how do I tell her I do not want to attend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2021): The sensible thing to do would have been to research what being a Quaker is all about, instead of asking a lot of people who probably have no or little idea of what it is. Luckily for you I am a Quaker, but that's luck not judgment. It is not a religion, lots of people who are Quakers have all sorts of religions too, it is a way of life, a belief that is separate from religion. They believe in nature, they hate violence, they believe in kindness to all including animals, they often - like many religions, attract those who have fallen by the way side, those with mental health problems, the immature, the unemployed etc, who are attracted simply because it gives them somewhere to go and somewhere to feel accepted, not because they believe in it. There is a huge difference between believing it all or just going there because you have nobody else and nowhere else to go. A lot of people go through the motions of singing, praying and all the rest just so that they can carry on going, not believing any of it themselves.
One of the thing about Quakers is they insist that modern technology etc is out of order - they do not believe in planes, electricity, computers, machines, medicine, yet they all still use them. Because that is how the World works now, virtually impossible not to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2021): Why cant you go just once and support her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2021): Hi
Only attend events that you feel happy with, your daughter is a able to attend events on her own. Regarding religion that is totally the individuals choice. You use the word earthy, nature is beautiful and god given to us all and plants have life and herbs are medicinal or can be just simply for cooking, nothing wrong or bad about this, experiencing nature and all the energy it holds. Humans are at times in need of nature and forget that it can heal the mind body and spirit. I too, believe very strongly in honouring nature and the plant and animal kingdoms. If the world honoured nature more and took it's greedy hands off everything materialistic, we would have half of the problems on earth resolved and we would be true to our own natures and understand that we are part of natures tapestry, we have life seasons, we have internal rhythms, the golden spiral in nature, the circle of life. However, I do not label myself a Quaker, nor a Witch, but I do believe in a God who created a garden of Eden for humans to enjoy and live in.
Just do what you feel comfortable with and maybe try and see no fear in nature, meditation is something that we sometimes need (stillness) to return to our natural rhythm's.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2021): To be perfectly clear, I'm not suggesting you have to go to her church; if the Holy Spirit through your inner-spirit convicts you that you shouldn't. That's why I suggest you should consult with your pastor and pray on it before you do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2021): Well, from one Christian to another; you know you have to follow the Word of the Lord as it is written. We can't dabble or mix with other religions; but we don't judge or condemn others for their beliefs. We as Christians know and believe that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. As He (Jesus) says in John 14:6. He said it, I believe it, and that settles it!
Your daughter is an adult; so speak to her as an adult. Be happy she has reached-out to faith and believes in God. You see the results in that. The belief in Jesus as our Savior, God as the Almighty Ruler of all heaven and earth, and The Holy Spirit is what makes you and I a Christian. Our belief is scoffed at as mythical, and made fun of by unbelievers. It doesn't phase us! She has found a pathway to faith; so pray she will understand and respect your beliefs, and explain that you can't cross certain lines in obedience of Biblical scripture. Make no excuses for your faith to anyone.
It's best you seek advice from your pastor on this matter. If you go to her church, don't worry, you won't be struck by lightning. God knows what's in your heart. You're only going there in support, not to be converted. That should also be made clearly understood. The Bible says the apostles of Christ entered into pagan territory to spread the gospel. They were devout and courageous! They didn't lose their faith by doing so; instead, they lead people to redemption and salvation.
Pray for guidance. Peace be with you, and may God bless you both.
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reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (28 July 2021):
 When you say she has asked you "to join", do you mean to join in one service or to join the religion? If it's the former, could you bring yourself to go with her to support her on her first time? It might give you a bit of an insight into what the organisation is about, which might be useful. If the latter, then a flat "no, thank you" is in order if you do not feel it is for you. You should never feel pressured into joining any organisation, religious or otherwise.
It is good that your daughter has found something which has helped her with her mental health. However, I always worry when someone who has mental health issues suddenly "finds religion" because I feel they are often vulnerable and some people, religious or not, can be unscrupulous and take advantage of someone they know to be vulnerable. As she is an adult, she can make her own decisions, but I would encourage her to talk to you about her feelings so that, if anything is going on which is not as it should be, you will become aware of it.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 July 2021):
 I would tell her that you are comfortable with your own beliefs and wish her well on her journey to find the right path for her. That you don't feel this is for you.
It seems this is a path that works for her. Even if it can seem a bit hippy or "earthy".
However, going with her doesn't mean you have to "convert" or change your own opinions. You don't have to participate or believe what they believe. She wants you there for support. Can you do that?
It is possible for a non-believer to go to church and it is possible for a devout Christian (such as you) to attend a service of another faith. You just go support her and observe. Participation is not required.
Now if you simply don't WANT to go, be honest with her. Even if she is very sensible, being honest and truthful is better than coddling her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2021): I would call her therapist and get their opinion.The therapist cannot tell you about her case but you can ask about setbacks if you decide not to go.I really hope she is on meds because she might stop taking them with this religon. Yes I would for sure talk to her therapist before you decide. This road she is on will not be easy.A lot of people in my so family had bipolar..........I will pray and send you happy thoughts and here is a virtual hug.Stay strong.
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